Situational performance anxiety

I’m fine I’m foreplay but as soon as we move to start to have sex I feel anxious that I won’t be hard enough to penetrate. It makes me feel pressure to was we are kind just both watching for it. This leads to me losing my erection.

Assuming my partners lack of interest

My first partner and I rarely used condoms (except at the beginning). After we broke up I started using condoms with my partners and although it went ok for a while, I had a few not great erection killer condom moments, and that gave me anxiety about when I put on condoms going forward, which usually makes me go soft.

Condoms, stated requests around doing something new (whic I always like theoretically). Spectatoring tends to begin as I start getting really aroused- “don’t fall down at the finish line”

My long-term partner is essentially a side, and we have not had insertive sex in 20 years. We are opening things up slightly. I would like to top again, but I find I cannot with someone new.

Essentially at the start. I use to get hard during foreplay now it’s like I just don’t want to have sex and it won’t budge

Putting on a condom or missionary

Having people around, particularly men, like at a sex party. Has happened 100% of the time now. Sometimes I have some anxiety with a new woman like, “I better get it up or else I’m a failure.” Luckily tho I’ve been able to get it up when it’s one on one even tho the doubts are always there. At a party tho I’m way too anxious.

  • going from foreplay to intercourse
  • the feeling that i‘m too close to coming, so my partner won‘t be able to have an orgasm
  • putting on a condom
  • after starting intercourse
  • changing position and therefore losing the stimulus for a few seconds
  • these days almost every intimate situationw my partner puts me in panic mode!

Initially I had issues with condoms, however now I am not sure if there is one specific trigger. I think my main issue is that I am constantly in my own head and not being present in the moment. I am critiquing everything I am doing and often assume the other person is not enjoying it, or won’t enjoy it if these thoughts come before sex.

The moment foreplay shifts to more giving pleasure to the other partner. There is almost a shot clock in my inner critic letting me know that if I don’t finish in a certain amount if time I’m not going to have an erection to finish with.

Engaging in sex with another person

When I need to do something during sex, anything that takes the attention away from sex. A good example is putting the condom on.

Yes, simply putting on condoms or like I mentioned earlier, rekindling activities with someone I’ve had a bad experience with before.

Definitely I have a position that I know works for me (missionary)—and when it doesn’t, down the negative rabbit hole I go (no pun intended). I almost try and sway my partner away from wanting me to even use a condom since I know that when the time comes to put it on, I’ll lose my erection and now I’m stuck with an open condom and nowhere to put it lol

When it is clear she is ready but I am not

Not thinking my partner is into me sexually. His a 10/10 and I don’t see myself that way.

First time with someone

Usually a few minutes after putting the condom on

Condoms for sure. Being in a sexual situation kinda makes me shut off too

My partner waiting silently while I try to stay hard enough to put on the condom just totally kills my erection even worse. Thoughts about STIs and condoms breaking always come into my head when I am preparing to penetrate for the first time as well. Stacking up to other partners they’ve had and what they’ll say to friends the next morning…