Situational performance anxiety

Condoms are one for sure.
Sometimes I can get an erection but then each time I get close to climax I will lose it. I get very much in my head.
I more commonly have difficulty with a new partner, and that is a slef reinforcing loop that’s a problem.

I feel like the second I’m asked to have sex and I’m not hard yet, then it becomes a foot race for me and it’s panic and it’s not healthy. For example, if I’m down on her and she wants me to stop to penetrate, and I’m not erect, I panic and don’t know what to do.

Condom situation is defenetily my case, she is lying on the bed, and I’m trying to put it on, also the missinory part, very uncomfortable to put it in…

If the girl is too beautiful, she takes my breath (and erection) away

Condoms and/or transitioning from foreplay to intercourse.


Lots of stress from the day or having an argument with my gf then later an opportunity for sex comes up and I am still in my head and iritated.

Condom putting on definately creates a problem sometimes. The change of positions can be triggering and maybe even the getting a bit dry and then it hurts so that can ruin the moment for me too.

Asking for sex. The delay between asking and starting seems to allow to much time to think about what can go wrong.

I would say triggers are once foreplay starts, or during foreplay. I’ll be hard, or get hard during foreplay, then I get nervous on if I am hard enough during foreplay, or if I’m enjoying it enough, rather than focusing on the enjoyment of it. Then I know sex is coming so I’m wondering when and if I’m hard enough for penetration. And that’s when the nerves really set in and I lose it.

Condoms also are an erection killer because i feel awkward having to put it on, and it’s the looming idea that you know sex is coming and I’m worried about keeping it up

Transition from foreplay to intercourse.

There are often times when I am hard but just before I proceed to penetrate. I lose it from overthrowing and spectating.

Confusion over what position we’re doing next, if she is dry and it doesn’t slide in as well, I just can’t in general without some manual stimulation

Before we start and I still feel soft. Makes me non stop think about it

Sex itself. Thoughts that my partner will find a flaw in my body or that I won’t be able to pleasure her.

Previous issue from when I was 18 led me to not having sex all the way through Australia where I was living for 2 years because I was terrified of random girls judgements. Then I got viagra as a laugh in Thailand and because it worked so well I felt I needed it EVERYTIME to have sex.
I made up for the lost time and then some but Jesus the thought of not having that, it also leads to lack of spontaneous sexual encounters becuase I felt I had to plan each sexual interaction around taking a pill.
Which is a nightmare because I’m in good shape and healthy and don’t drink at all anymore.
But if I drink lately it tends to silence the voices to some extent.

I’m at a point where I can maintain the first erection I get during sex.
However, if we stop for any significant period it will just go away and stay limp.

Transitioning from foreplay to sex. Also when having sex I sometimes think I’m hurting my partner which then also makes me convince myself to stop

condoms have most definitely been an issue.
I also feel in general that foreplay gets reduced and i’m in a rush to penetrate before my anxiety creeps in. It kills the enjoyment for my partner.

Not hard during foreplay. Putting on the condom. When it’s time for penetration.