Over thinking about penetration and whether or not I will be able to perform. Putting on the condom also sometimes affects my erection: will I stay hard enough, will I put it on fast enough, will I disappoint her?
Just as I enter I worry if its going to stay hard and then all my focus is on trying to keep it hard, but I’m not actually enjoying the moment I’m just focusing on my penis. As soon as it gets hard it’s like I’ve got a timer till it goes soft again so I’m rushing to try and keep it going. My last couple of sexual experiences have been premature ejaculation and I think it’s because I’m so worried about keeping it going that my body panics and just shoots it out.
Honestly, I think the fear of ejaculating too soon and before my wife is even close to orgasm is a huge factor.
It’s really the anticipation for me. “Its 8:00, she goes sleep by 10, it’s getting to be time for it to happen. Gotta get ready…”
Or I get half-mast and feel like I cant lose it and try to move quickly or something.
Putting on a condom or her taking a bathroom break really make me anxious about losing my erection.
Condoms, I guess
Oral and sex itself
When my wife and I play with other adults I get performance anxiety and can’t get hard.
I feel like I cannot pre plan sex. If my wife dresses up for me but I know its ‘going to happen’ tonight, my erection fails. I have these negative thoughts some times hours before which is killing us in the relationship.
Yes condoms tend to act as an erection killer. I get good erections when I’m aroused but situations like these and the performance pressure sometimes gets to me and I start to worry more about my erection.
Also sometimes when I’m alone masturbating its hard to focus on maintaining an erection. Watching different types of porn helps me maintain erections, watching the same type of porn may act as a erection killer.
I’m also very worried about my morning erection. I rarely get that, like maybe just once or twice a week and it bothers me.
For me it’s the seed of doubt after a bad experience that lingers for the next experiences. I find I lose trust in my body to perform the way I need to and I’m constantly thinking about how I need to fix this problem and get back on track, which makes it worse and leads to more bad encounters. It’s a vicious cycle.
Transitioning from foreplay to intercourse. If an erection does occur in focused on trying to keep it and in turn loose it. If I focus on my partner I loose and erection sometimes as well.
Due to my anxiety I’ve avoided having intercourse with my girlfriend until I get more confident. This instantly leads to fear anytime she shows any sign of wanting to make love and I’m already spectatoring. I can’t get out of my panic mode from here and only a few times have I managed to somehow relax enough to get me through it
Condoms. Concerns about size. Does she think my flaccid penis is small and unattractive.
I don’t know, it seems like only when I’m completely in the mood is when I get an erection. But as soon as I get out of that mode I lose it.
Sometimes we’ll be kissing on the sofa and all is going well. Then we relocate to the bedroom and that’s enough time for me to lose any erection I had and it’s all over.
My partner expecting to do the intercourse and the constant inner critic of mine saying it’s not gonna happen again.
Usually putting the condom on. Else the performance anxiety in itself doesn’t help -sometimes a date and time is fixed in advance for sex and I end up dreading the act rather than being there and present
I didn’t get proper erections during the initial attempts of sexual intercourse with my wife. Later I kept loosing confidence, this led to spectating later on which became an erection killer for me now. I have consulted a sexologist regarding my issue, he has suggested me to consume tadalafil tablets to get better erections and boost my confidence. But that advice went wrong for me. Now its like I am not even able to maintain an erection without a tablet. I literally became psychologically dependant on it.
Major erection killers for me as of now are:
- Spectating
- Transition between foreplay and sex
- Wearing a condom
- when ever we plan for it before hand (like when she says lets have sex tonight), I keep thinking of it all the day and it builds pressure on my mind and leads to performance anxiety that kills my erection
Definitely with putting the condom on or transitioning into penetrative sex. It’s like it’s show time and all of a sudden I’ll start to lose my erection.
Even just stopping to take a dick pic through a sexy online chat is enough to lose my erection
The first time I attempted to lose my virginity I went to put a condom on, fumbled around, became panicked and I lost my erection. I feel that has set me up for ED in my adult life.
Once I begin kissing someone I start spectatoring, seeing if I become hard and if I don’t then I begin to panic and over think. If I am a little bit aroused when I start kissing them I sometimes start to rush and get things going quickly so I don’t lose my erection which takes me out of the moment.
Once I am hard I feel that I am good at keeping it but getting hard is the trouble. I am what they call a “grower” so I feel embarrassed if they see me flaccid but once I am erect I feel a lot more confident.
When things move quickly and I’m caught off guard or when the girl takes control are situations which make me anxious and trigger me not getting hard.
The thought of letting them down or the sex being an anticlimax weighs on me, if we’ve flirted, got on well and she is into me then I feel like I have to perform to live up to the tension that was built and the fear of that situation actually becomes the reality.