Taking my pants off on soft
Anytime I’m with someone other than my wife
Thinking if my partner is going to excite me enough
Thinking that my partner is waiting for penetration and if I’m going to get it hard enough to penetrate
Putting on a condom. It breaks the flow and I feel pressured
In the moment to start to having sex with each other getting worried to keep it up and he gets soft or by position changes
my trigger is that i notice that i’m starting to get hard and then i become hyper aware of it. this immense amount of attention i give my dick makes it so difficult for me to get harder and stay hard. once i’m going i’m good but the lead up is brutal nearly every time
Thinking she doesn’t want me.
Even being alone by myself. I don’t get the erection unless I’m sexting or touching myself
So… I think there are a few.
The transition from foreplay to sex
Sometimes even during foreplay I can’t get hard as much as I’m enjoying everything going on the thought goes like “hurry up, get hard hurry up the longer you take to get hard the worse you look”
Sometimes aswell like il be blown away by just how perfect of a woman she is, curves and fire like I have never seen. And I guess it makes me feel… Not good enough? Not equipped enough. Even though for 4 years our sex was amazing, she even had an issue with how long I lasted.
What’s weird is my issues starteded when we where having relationship issues and had broken up… Not becuase of sex these issues came after.
I just don’t feel good enough. And that’s how I feel everytine really, wich then leads to “hurry up, show this beautiful woman how much she turns you on before you lose her, before she sees you for the little boy you really are”
I suppose I put alot of pressure on myself during that break up to perform well, add that with the fact she is the woman of my dreams, and litrely is the only woman in history to have me qeustion myself… It just kinda repeats itself in my head.
Transitioning into penetration in any capacity is somewhat anxiety-inducing. I’m fine with clothes on and such but getting down to business gets scary.
The build up to penetration, i spectate way too much, and through thinking about past experiences, i sometimes cant get fully hard, and sometimes not hard enuff to have penetration. If we have sex off the cuff, i then put pressure on myself, thinking i have to/ and should be getting hard
When I’m about to put it in, the buildup to the moment seems so high stakes (unlike foreplay) that I start to think about it like how I’d think about what I’d do playing basketball or something. Too much thinking and analyzing rather than being in the moment.
Condom use. And right before initial insertion.
condoms, the transition from foreplay to intercourse, the changing of positions–anything that breaks the flow of the moment seems to crack open the door for the inner critic, the negative thoughts, the fear of failure. and from there, it’s a cavalcade of cock ups (ironically)
Distractions in flow are a killer, having to get things and taking away from the moment
Hyper aware of levels of arousal and spectatoring all in the lead up to sex with my partner, knowing that it is a possibility later on.
Definitely transitioning. Especially if we are in another room like the living room and then moving to the bedroom. That is a time when we are no longer doing foreplay and the erection could go. Likewise when putting on lube. I get out the bed and find the lube and then put it on. This isn’t usually too bad if I have a full erection, but if I am slightly soft then it can destroy the mood for me and then it gets in my head.
I have a few mental anxieties / disturbing thoughts that are mood killers, sometimes related to family. When my brain wanders to those I know I won’t be able to be in the moment or have sexual desire and then start to get worried about not being able to get an erection
Out of topic during sex and the judgmental face when I’m putting on the condom while she is wacthing