Transitioning from foreplay to intercourse
Personally, i love foreplay and do it almost every time me and my partner have sex. But i almost always have to cut it short in fear i won’t stay hard. I also love giving head but often times i won’t stay hard for the duration of the time. I can always never seem to stay hard while getting head even tho my partner is very good at it
Topping
I have an issue with premature ejaculation, so I always wear condoms to prevent any mishaps. The transition from foreplay to intercourse sends my anxiety into high gear because I know I have to hurry to put the condom on before I go limp. By the time I get the condom on, I’m already starting to go limp and now I’m in my head trying to get hard again (spectating).
As soon as I’m even slightly limp it’s all a mind game. Condoms, head if for whatever reason it isn’t working for me, etc
Having been with several partners that wouldn’t use condoms for their own satisfaction, then dating a woman who does use them (that I completely agree with) it now seems somewhat unnatural to break the flow of sex. But also some anxiety about the penetrative sex does not help
- Reliance to pills/viagra
- putting on condom reduces sensitivity
Once, I wasn’t able to do the enter properly and my penis became small. Since then, I began to lose interest in sex at all. I don’t feel that kind of lust anymore. For ex- the lust which I felt if I saw a hot girl.
For me it’s not condoms par sae… But because I’m never sure of my erection, I often want to rush through foreplay (which she often likes) straight to penetration - and then any dilly dally or deviation from that puts me in a panic mode as this may make me lose my erection before penetration. Even shifts in our position, or getting the rooms mood just right (turning off lights etc etc) … I’m quite averse to anything that could potentially ‘waste time’ and put my erection in jeaprody…
Mention of sex later, the expectation is a big one. It’s also often very early if I don’t see an immediate reaction to kissing
Asking to put a condom on, wondering if they are enjoying themselves, partner in certain positions
The worry getting my erection will take so long that I will be so close to ejaculation before any penetration or very little pentration. Thus premature ejaculation. That was before my thyriod issues and trauma. Now it is a combo of both. Worried about getting an erection at all since my ED event and reoccurring events. It is a struggle right now.
Sometimes Premature ejaculation
When I overthink every position and looking at myself to see if it’s still hard. Usually ruins it.
I am always really mindful in the moments before penetration. Spectatoring is a huge issue for me. Worrying that I’m the one that’s going to ruin this. I have mild adhd as well which can lead to me getting distracted by all manner of things, as soon as I become aware of this then it makes it even more difficult to recapture the mood
when i’m starting to get hard and my trousers are still on I start to feel anxious about getting naked fast enough to maintain my erection.
So I’m currently trying out viagra so when I do take it and it’s time to have sex that we planned, I’m thinking to myself (is she wanting it now, she’s not interested and only doing this because I took the medicine and not because she’s ready also, or I’m not gonna be able to keep an erection and she’s going to be mad at me, etc).
I’ve attended a number of sex parties/ private dance clubs with dark rooms. I am turned on by attractive people having sex around me, and I am confident that I am attractive.
However I have difficulty getting hard in these situations, perhaps it is all the stimulation from everything going on around me. Perhaps it is this expectation I put on myself that I need to compete to be the sexiest person in the room or that I need to be perfect (or others need to be perfect) in order for me to have a good time.
Probably a mix, but I’d like to be able to navigate these unusual situations and have fun with them rather than being confused and intimidated.
It happen when I started putting the condom, i lost everything. I don’t know because it was a new person since almost a year since having sex, I was already up almost 22 hours, had some drink or tired. But everything was going great until condom. At the same time I haven’t used one in almost 14 years.
My two biggest erection killers are the gap when foreplay ends and I put on a condom, and when I’m initiating penetration, since I know going soft at that point completely kills things.
Also in general I feel like I’m walking an erectness tightrope, where any issues at all will kill things