when she gets on top or blows me
Sex with a new person, condoms. If the entry to the vagina is difficult. If she seems very confident. If I don’t get an erection fast enough. A long build jpm too much drink. Knowing I’ve not had an erection recently. Sometimes when I have morning wood I force sex quickly and it goes down if its not perfect.
Typically my trigger is worry. I’m afraid to start the foreplay if I don’t have an erection, and if/once I get an erection I worry that I won’t keep it. I’ll get moments of pleasure which help, but if I’m not actively being stimulated, then my brain goes straight to “well now you’re about to be flaccid”. If my girlfriend starts engaging with me, sexually, and I don’t already have an erection… my worry will likely keep me from even getting one usually. Which leads to disappointment, and it makes me feel stomach in knots terrible that I’m not sexually satisfying my partner, and it makes me feel ungratified personally that I don’t currently get the enjoyment out of one of the most pleasurable experiences of living.
When foreplay is going on and she orgasms and not is ready for vaginal sex. I go from yeah I did great to oh sh*t…here we go…it’s going to be a battle now
Condoms
Eating pussy
It’s always when it’s time to apply lubricant and actually start having sex that I get nervous and lose my erection. Sometimes, too, I can get hard masturbating but when she takes over the anxiety kicks in and she ends up feeling like it was her fault. I worry that it damages her self-image and that only makes me feel worse, which makes the problem worse. It’s a vicious cycle, man.
Foreplay. Specifically when I’m going down on my partner. I sometimes feel like I’d rather stay down there then risk trying to perform intercourse.
The act of penetration makes my inner critic tell me I’m going to go soft.
Transitioning from foreplay to intercourse
Is the biggest problem
I think ive previously considered both condoms and one night-stands as erection killers and perhaps this is what planted the seed in my head in the first place. At the moment I find myself spectatoring all throughout foreplay and the pressure mounts all through until we’re about to have intercourse. I’m constantly subtly checking my penis to see if it is hard enough.
Sex spurred on by my partner that can come off as in expected.
I’m just worried that I’m going to perform poorly. I’m worried she’s going to think my dick is too small and I’m going to finish quickly. I don’t even want to enter the scenario because I am insecure about my sexual ability. So even during foreplay I don’t get hard because I’m so nervous
After having this happen to me several times, the idea of stopping sex when I’m hard freaks me out, therefore I rarely am able to stay hard when I go to put a condom on. Usually this ends the sexual sessions and most of mine are one time things and I get to in my head afterwards.
Pre playing sex in mind and then a slight difference that the imagined story and i start panicking thus losing the erection
yes
when oral sex is stopped and it’s actually time to penetrate i just feel this immense pressure that my penis will deflate and we’ll just be left standing there. condoms also because condoms mean it’s time to go in and i just feel this intense amount of anxiety causing my heart to beat faster and lose my erection
Yes I don’t like when there’s no contact even if it’s just for a few seconds and missionary, using condoms and changing positions can be very difficult sometimes
Going from foreplay to penetration. I always feel like the lull In time between the two will make me go soft. That and changing positions when I’m too focused on the quality of my erection
Foreplay is the most enjoyable part for me as I can really relax and focus on the feeling, but when it comes to me stepping up for penetration; this is where spectatoring and issues begin. If I’m with someone who skips foreplay and just wanted to jump into wild sex as soon as we walk in the door, then there is a very low chance of an erection. The build up is important. Foreplay is the only way I can cum it seems; and can be rare to do so. I’d love to be able to finish from penetration, but this is something I’ve only done twice in my 15+ sexually active years.
Any hint of sex makes me panic
It usually happens during the transition as stated below by convinced. I start by wondering and that takes me out of the moment, then Kaput! I’ve got my answer but not one I enjoy.