As a gay man, I start to feel the pressure during foreplay. That’s often when my partner has already gotten an erection, so I start to panic that they won’t think I’m enjoying it as much as they seem to be.
Putting on the condom gets me out of the mood because I have to leave the bed to grab one, I’m being watched, and I thought thinking about if it is going to work or not. Also when I am above someone in missionary it can often not work because I am thinking too much about it failing to go in.
I get anxious if there’s a chance of me topping my husband, where I will start spectatoring about whether my dick is hard well before the point of penetration. Then when the point of penetration comes if I’m actually still hard, I normally lose it when I go to lube up, or I will definitely lose it at the point of trying penetration. If I’m not topping (and I know I’m not going to be) then I very rarely have any problems.
Right before penetration
If I’m with a new partner, I feel pressure to make sure she’s satisfied and almost never care about having an orgasm myself. I think that pressure almost always ensures that I can’t get an erection with a new partner the first couple times.
The transition into intercourse is usually where my erection starts to soften. When I try to penetrate my partner I usually lose my erection.
putting on the condom
I tend to lose my erection when my partner asks for things like changing positions or specific things that i may not particularly enjoy but they do. I guess i feel like if I’m not in control of the situation, then it’s not as enjoyable. Also talking during sex about anything that isn’t super light hearted kills the mood for me.
First time with the partner.
Putting on condoms fear of losing erection.
Feel like they’re more attractive than me. Like I’m not worth their time in the first place?
Recently started a polyamorous relationship and while pleasing two women I became worried I wouldn’t be good enough or they’d prefer sex with each other more than with me.
I’m empathic, and since its been a while since I’ve been in a long term relationship, I feel like I often am constantly assessing if she is enjoying it or if she too is uneasy. If she is I will feel like I am in the wrong for doing it. Essentially, if she isn’t being obvious and intense about her own desire, I don’t get as aroused and anxiety has a lot to do with it. Or, I worry I am going to not get future sex because if I do get it up, I already accept the belief that I won’t last long and if and when I don’t, I fear she will no longer want to engage in sex- to her it will “not be worth the trouble” of spending time with me because she will not get as much pleasure. In summary, I am very worried about her feelings- is she genuinely interested, and if so will I be able to please her?
Definitely performance anxiety. Like the feeling that I won’t please her. I go into sex with that mindset then it’s difficult to maintain an erection
My partner is menopausal and typically needs assistance in the lube area…I tend to be the one applying it to myself and to her. In that time and if I’m able to insert…I can feel myself lose the erection, similar to a condom being applied. I think subconsciously I feel because I haven’t made her wet that I’m inferior.
Been married for 5 years, partnered total 15 years. it’s at time of penetrations causes some inner conflict from past issues losing erections. This causing more issues. my wife feeling constant rejection and that i don’t have desire for her or love her, and that there is someone else. Even tough i have been fully devoted and faithful it causing the seed of doubt to grow.
Putting on the condom can definitely be a problem. Worrying about if it will stay hard between the time I put it on to penetration. Plus, I don’t know why but just recently something as benign as changing positions has become a problem. Going from missionary to doggy and I can’t get it in right away, poof, gone.
I struggle right when she starts to take my shirt/clothes off. This mostly happens with a new partner, after a while of getting comfortable with my ex I was okay most of the time. But now I’m right back at the same place.
I have never seem to get hard enough with oral sex. The idea of a blowjob is super sexy to me, but I feel anxiety for some reason recieving a blowjob. This deminishes my erection for sure. also the putting on a condom is also a little pause in the love making so again I loose the erection somewhat and anxiety kicks in. During the act I have started feeling the potential pain in my solar plexus. The anxiety of loosing my partner do to them relising who I really am and loosing intrest. So these triggers are the onse I observed.
No specific issues for me. But with something changes like she wants to use a toy or something on those lines it tends to derail my thoughts
I understand that I feel pressure to perform immediately. With this girl I am scared of not getting it up fast enough and so she will lose her time. Also I am scared of not mantaing an erection. I am also scared that she think I’m egoist sexually and that’s also why I almost prefer not to get hard and just lick her and finger her, I just care about giving her pleasure rather than taking pleasure for me as well
When she begins to ask for it or beg for it before I penetrate. Also if she touches my penis in a certain way that doesn’t feel good but rather ruins my erection.