Funnily enough if we’re already naked in bed as we’ve got ready to sleep but then fancy having sex I find it harder to get an erection as we lose out on foreplay in undressing and touching above clothes and then under. I think elsewise situations can become awkward or frustrating if we can’t find the right arrangement /position and are uncomfortable, or if I’m not feeling aroused and my inner critic speaks up. I spectator a lot also when going down on my partner and lose my erection because I’m focusing on them and getting distracted by my thoughts and that I won’t be ready for them once they cum and want to have penetrative sex.
I focus on my partner and their pleasure so when the come to pleasure me or I have to ´keep it up’ I become nervous. It use to be that they’d make me cum quickly and now it’s will I even get it up
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Definitely condoms , although I can see how incorporating in would help
Condom time is a struggle for me
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Right before i meet a person for sex, i always think about my erection, if it will be hard or not. During foreplay I think about that as well. Especially before penetration, I think about it as well.
When I hear her ask for harder or faster. I think that’s where I’ll end up getting in my head
Her on top
Much of the time it starts out ok and fades
It is the only position she can orgasm
I also get anxiety when putting on a condom; feels very much like i am in a spotlight and have to perform
Yes, my fiancé likes toys, which is great, until she wants me to put on a vibrating cock ring , in the dark, and oh yes, I have to find it first……. And keep hard. This usually gets me half hard before I even have a chance to put it on. End game
Just before penetration and especuky when my partner begs for me to fuck her.
It’s been years since I last attempted to have sex, and the issues related to sexuality with which I have struggled since then have been the source of lots of anxiety. A number of times I have been in casual relationships which could easily have progressed to sex, but I always shied away from it because of my negative experiences in the past. Whenever I have a prospective sexual partner, I always easily get aroused when I think about how sexy her body is/how good it will make us feel; but when begin thinking about the ‘performative’ aspect of sex, i.e. getting hard and lasting long enough, I lose my erection almost immediately.
Lack of obvious interest from my partner, or any sort of feeling of ineffectiveness when I try something and it doesn’t immediately work.
Ok
During foreplay I’m not completely hard
Situations where I know sex is about to occur triggers this - my partner preparing themselves, or reaching for the lube, anything immediately leading up to penetration
Usually, I just don’t feel sexy. However, when I do feel horny I get an erection. My problem is, strange as it might seem, I can’t figure out what will make me horny. It’s random and not as simple as say watching porn. Sometimes that will do it. Often it won’t. Similarly in sexy situations with my partner, who is very sexual and up for anything, I’ll sometimes get horny and in other similar situations, I feel nothing. I have been unable to figure out why.
Putting on a condom, first few times with a new partner, switching from foreplay and performing oral to penetration - all make me think about how I’m not gonna be hard enough
Condoms definitely feel like a pressure. Not so much the object itself being foreign or unsexy, but the fact that it reinforces the pressure of staying hard. Even if I’m feeling good and erect, the idea of having to maintain that through the process of reaching for a condom and putting it on just takes me out of it and makes me doubt the fact that I’ll stay hard enough through the rest of the intercourse.
Sex in the morning, knowing its coming and worrying that you will take too long to get hard or even get hard at all, then the opportunity passes and you notch up another failure
I find as I have lost my erection before just after putting a condom on, as soon as I go to put it on I start spectatoring.