When it’s the first time with a new partner. I get in my head a lot building up to the moment and I’m in my head during the moment. I typically don’t have any issues with partners that I’ve had successful sex with.
Not getting an erection in the first place when I expect to. I imagine that since I got an erection in one scenario that I will get one every time and when I don’t, I start to spiral and think there is something wrong with me
Days that are planned out to have sex. I feel I get so anxious in making it perfect and keep long erection I begin to spectate my penis even before we actually begin trying for sex seriously. Sometimes if she goes to touch me while I’m in process of gaining my erection I can get anxious and think it’s now or never and go into fight or flight mode and shut down
Before sex and the build up to it
Any pressure surrounding when I’m asked for penetration, or if I’m focused on pleasing my wife instead of trying to get hard. And trying to get hard never goes well either. It’s hard to achieve a lasting erection.
If I do get hard at the start and she isn’t wet enough yet it can cause me to panic to get her wet enough and keep it hard.
Getting a condom on is a big one. Spontaneous sex when I’m thinking about chores or work or something else.
The thought of transitioning from foreplay to putting on the condom is a real boner killer for me. The funny thing is that it doesn’t happen every time so I never really know what version of myself is going to show up, which causes more anxiety when the big moment finally does arrive.
Also being with a new partner always increases my levels of anxiety, especially if I have a greater degree of interest in them.
I think especially new partners. I worry about being able to have an erection and spend hours before the moment in my head worrying what is going to happen. With prior partners I don’t have that same “I’m in my head” feelings.
Usually we will cuddle and kiss in the bed and then my wife will want me to grab the lube.
This always kills my elections. It is a break to the flow and I start spectatoring. I have failed so many time now that I am anxious in anticipation for this lube period
When it comes to thinking about penetration after foresex I’m losing my erection most of the time.
New sexual partners, if I’m not comfortable enough eg. on an uncomfortable couch in someone else’s house, if it get too hot or exert too much energy and get puffed out, putting on a condom, any other position other than missionary I seem to lose my erection very quickly, especially with my partner on top if we lose “flow and rhythm”
Anytime during foreplay, I’m waiting for an erection to occur, and eventually it never happens, so I back off and just try to please her using other means
I get anxious right before initiating sex
Just before penetration. I havent ever been able to penetrate, even though I can get hard for oral and orgasm, when I have to penetrate it just goes away.
For me, small interruptions seem to be the biggest trigger. Falling out and not immediately getting it back in, hearing a noise in the house, The dog starts barking in the yard. Any interruption like this seems to pull me out of the moment and into my head.
My partner saying specifically she wants to be penetrated, immediately makes me feel scared that I won’t be able to satisfy
During foreplay I feel a strong erection and ready for penetration but once I start undressing I end up losing it by the time the clothes are off
Bad past experiences and anxiety to perform well cause erectile dysfunction with me personally
In order to get hard and stay hard during sex, I find myself visualising sexual situations and not focusing on my partner. Is this wrong?does anybody else do this? Should I try to stop this habit? Please let me know your thoughts