I struggle as soon as I start getting a blowjob, as all the attention is on me, so they’ll notice if it goes down
Just in general, whenever I am about to have sex, the only thing I am thinking about is am I going to be able to get hard.
When she holds it to put it in, I worry that it’ll be soft in her hand and it won’t go in
My problems have occurred when I take on a new partner. There’s always I moment when I’m going ready to move from foreplay to sex that I make that decision and my mind just unravels. I start wondering if she likes it or if my penis is big enough or something like that and I just lose it all. Then I spiral into the negative talk and I feel like all bets are off then.
My trigger occurs when we’re transitioning from foreplay to putting the condom on and penetration. I can feel my penis getting hard during the foreplay, but then when we are transitioning there’s a lag time where nothing sexual is happening (girlfriend is using the restroom, I’m getting the condom on, etc.) and during this time is when it gets soft. So by the time my gf is back, my penis is softer, and my inner critic is having a field day and it’s complete game over. Then my gf doesn’t feel loved and the night is over before it ever began.
These courses are definitely help me find my triggers and address with confidence.
when im about to put it in, putting a condom on, or taking my pants off are all kind of situations where performance anxiety really hits the worst
Putting on a condom
Getting worried I’ll cum too soon and panicking about that
Wearing a condom can be super challenging at times !
Wondering if my partner wants to have sex or is just doing it to please me (or shut me up); wondering if my partner is enjoying the foreplay, what she would like instead or as well, and then whether she is enjoying the penetration when it happens.
The moment before penetration and whether I am and can stay hard enough to penetrate
Foreplay, I am a champion at. That’s perfection. But as soon as it comes to sex, itself, I always worry. I feel my dick is very sensitive, and I often find it’s overstimulated when the foreskin is moved. I figure this plays a significant part in my performance concerns, since being inside will, naturally, expose it, and may feel less than pleasureable.
Changing position or transitioning from foreplay to intercourse or anything change of plan pretty much causes the inner critical and accompanying anxiety
Going from foreplay to intercourse for me. Also if she’s going down on me while I"m not hard, I get anxious about her seeing my flaccid penis
Change locations, hard at beginning of foreplay then lose it & wont come back up.
Condoms are a major mood killer. I think about how long it takes and as I’m getting it out my erection begins to fade.
I definitely have performance anxiety when it is the first time having sex with a partner. I have always needed more of an emotional attachment so one night stands can be very tough on my performance anxiety and I definitely catch myself being a spectator.
condom, position transitioning
The condom one really hits close to home. I never have issues with foreplay, but the second the condom comes out I immediately begin to lose the erection.
The environment can’t be a big factor for me. Too hot, too cold, uncomfortable or awkward position
The transition from foreplay into sexual intercourse (or, in my case in the past: no sexual intercouse). I start thinking and getting nervous. Typical thoughts for me in this moment are: “Am I hard enough right now? Should I just rush it and try to get on my condom onto my penis as fast as possible, with my partner almost waiting in the starting block? Well, I don’t think that I can make it” And around this moment I suddenly feel the rock-hard erection that I had because of the thought of being inside her just disappear, almost instantly. And because I’m spectatoring, it feels even faster.
Even in almost all cases when we don’t use a condom, the same thing happens: Rock hard, thinking about starting penetration, get closer with my penis to the vagina, and it feels so unpleasant… the closer I get, the softer it feels, even though in my head I am so excited and I can feel my heart beating in my throat because of the arousal.
I believe that this is the disconnection between mind and body that is part of one of the recorded sessions here on mojo.