One thought I can reprogram is that “I should be able to get hard whenever I want” but the truth is being stressed about being hard makes it hard to get hard, which hardly helps
My partner will leave me if I lose my erection again
Reprogram: my partner will work with me to solve my erection issues.
I think that my partner won’t be please with my erection even when it’s at ita fullest. I’m worried it’s too small and that I am unattractive. But this is mind reading and I projecting my own feelings. My partner likes to try and loves to touch me when I can get hard. I just get anxious about dissapointing my partner. But I need to remember that I can get an erection and that it does the job.
That I am unable to achieve wrections. Super dumb thought considering the thousands of wrecrions that I have achieved and maintained in my life!!
I was very aroused and turned on and she was having a good time with me, but then I turned soft and didn’t get hard again, but she was able to have an orgasm anyway. It doesn’t always matter that I have to he hard for her to be satisfied.
This is my #1 issue and it’s not just about sex, it affects me in every aspect of life. My business, family, friends, clients, I have negative thoughts and assumptions all the time. They grow and fester and won’t leave my mind. Causes my heart to pound and affects my daily life. This exercise really broke it down for me.
If I start hard but lose the erection before I cum I often think I did not please her. Even though I know she had multiple orgasms already. I feel like a failure. She never says that, it is just what I think about the situation.
I haven’t been able to get hard at all the last few times we had sex and at this point I get anxious about even the though of initiating. But I know I have been able to get hard in the past, and my partner is extremely supportive and accommodating of me. I know I don’t have nearly as much to worry about, I just need to come to terms with that
My biggest issue is fortune telling. Because of past ED failures i sort of predict and expect them to happen again. This is my inner critic and work and is not true. There have been several times where i have been able to get and maintain erections and this what i am programmed for. I also suffer from mind reading where i think she is disappointed or expects me to lose my erection. This is also not true as she is enjoying sex as much as possible - its me that in my own head fighting my inner critic. Categorical imperative - i dont always have to get hard when my partnwr wants sex, it should be both ways.
Its so true that I’m dramatising things. When I rationalise, they’re completely valid. The other night after using this for a while, I felt literally so great and excited, i had no problems. It was unreal. I want to keep in this headspace to keep that happening!
“I probably won’t get hard or stay hard this time because I didn’t last time.”
A more logical approach would say that I have gotten hard many more times than I haven’t.
My negative thought was why can’t I just cum already. The mantra has to be “I’ve cum before and can again” and “I just need to learn to relax”
I thought I let her down but in reality she was very supportive and understanding. She is with me for more than just physical reasons.
Keep it positive that I will get an erection each time or most of the time.
I had issues getting hard one night when my wife and I were doing foreplay. I felt embarrassed and ashamed and that thought process killed any chance at an erection the rest of that session. I had thought of the worst thoughts, like “is my wife going to leave me”, “she thinks I don’t find her attractive”. Thankfully we talked about it and she 100% supports me in figuring this out, together.
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It does not happen every time. I have many instances that I remember it happens and another ones that it doesn’t.
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It is an stressful situation when I try to be with strangers because I feel more pressure to perform
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it gives anxiety to think that I am letting someone down .
I couldn’t get it up right now but the previos 2 Times I was up with no pills and it’s a win for me. It is a process, I will fall and get back up again, literally.
That I won’t be able to get it up each time, I know there are times when I have had no problem at all
It will happen again, again I will lose my erection in the process and there will be no sex.
FORTUNE TELLING. Facts pro: it has happened several times. the more scared i get, the worse it gets. There is a possibility of it happening again.
Facts against: I’ve slept with her many times and everything went perfectly. I’m working on my anxiety and erection issues and I’m no longer a beginner. there’s a possibility it won’t happen
My girlfriend is blaming herself that I cannot get hard, this stresses me more than my own issues just compounding the problem (fight flight wise). She is patient and similar to others says she is very satisfied. I need to reframe what good sex is and not add pressure of a specific outcome every time .