I just got flashbacks to times when I couldn’t get it up.
It was saying that it should be getting hard and it’s not working right if that doesn’t happen
You getting hard for no reason
My inner critic was telling me of course you can’t get hard when you touch your penis. It was present in the beginning but then I started touching it and looking at it with interest and sort of had a semi without wanting it. But not an erection tho.
Inner critic told me that this is what it looks like after it goes soft during sex. The sensation felt was that it was lifeless and not responding to touch. I think the inner critic doesn’t help and likely makes the situation worse.
He was saying like ok it’s feels amazing now but what about later? Oh you’re getting hard but can u keep It ? But It felt good and comfortable because my objective wasn’t to get hard but to not care whether I did or not.
It was a bit of a battle between me and my inner critic, sometimes I was like this is okay, and other times it was like, this makes me feel vulnerable, and then the negative thoughts started
I think i noticed him recalling events where my penis didn’t get up. But also because there wasn’t a girl here, i didn’t have to think about pleasing her or for her sake. i was able to focus on just feeling and exploring myself.
My inner critic makes me wonder if I have a good enough penis and that it would call my penis a failure for letting it get soft during the exercise
I was just trying not to move from intentional thinking into fantasy.
Did not get hard. Inner critic said I should get hard. I want to be able to get hard from sexual touch
That it’s just like when I’m trying to have sex. No intention on getting hard.
The inner critic was saying this is stupid it’s never gonna work. I did get sensations while touching it.
They probably play a huge role in when u think of that stuff in the moment.
It’s not going to work
It was trying to be positive but disappointed
That I took my penis for granted all these years. That despite the fact that he had my back for most of my life I gave him nothing but abuse (though furious masturbation)
Was telling me about why I wasn’t getting an erection from touching it. But then when I relaxed I could feel a lot more sensations in it and enjoyed playing with it. Had to stop myself getting an erection too much from then on
I felt something on my stomach
The inner critic reminded me of how quickly I got hard from doing similar things when I was younger.
I began getting the thoughts of asking why I wasn’t hard but then that was overcome with interest for my penis.