Identifying the inner critic during soft penis pleasuring

If you ain’t hard you are small

Basically “ah you’re causing the problems.” But I tried to calm it and say back “you’re not so bad, you’re just here.”

The thought or appearance of it getting soft sucked the blood out if it and into my head.

Size

Was thinking why isn’t it going up from the touching. Wondering what I need to do.

Started viewing it as a defective penis, almost like it would always be limp

Similar to other guys, I was surprised how consistently I kept getting semis and almost fully erect. The inner critic was definitely focusing on how easy it is to get hard even though you JUST jerked off and are trying NOT to get hard…why can’t it happen this easily when you’re begging me to get hard and stay hard??

When I was touching myself I’d get hard and have to stop and think about something else for a moment. My inner critic was saying that if only it was this easy and unintentional to get an erection when I did want to get it. I did feel comfortable enough not to feel anxiety by myself but when touching myself I had to try to not fall into my sexual desires/experiences and compare this to them.

Questioned why I wasn’t getting an erection and that I wasn’t good enough

My inner critic reminded me of times I went soft. And how much more I appreciate my penis when it is hard and not when it is soft.

Was definitely concerned and even frustrated that I wasn’t just getting hard.

Thoughts about size and why I’m not getting hard.

Thought about how since I’m touching my dick it should get instantly hard - and when it is hard, I worry about it going soft. I realized I have high expectations of my dick and that I’m sometimes “mean” or critical to it. I think this exercise will help me create a better relationship with my dick, particularly my soft dick.

Just pointing out that I was soft. I know the point of the excersize was to stay soft. But I found I was touching myself, wanting to be hard. But couldn’t get there.

It felt normal. I haven’t masturbated or watch porn for over 1 year so I wouldn’t be unhappy if I didn’t get an erection

Seemed easier to get it up when not thinking about it so much. When I stopped to let it go down, the critic was like that’s about right but when I went back to it I was fine. Also easier to just enjoy playing with it. Eg make the inner critic smile and be happy

Inner critic was saying why can’t you get hard when necessary, but I actually enjoyed playing with my soft penis and it kept getting hard

He didn’t show up. I was relaxed and it starting getting hard without thinking about it. Now throw in a first time partner, and he is waiting to pounce.

First tried to tell me that it should be hard already. I dismissed it. It got hard and every time the inner critic tried to say something, I just dismissed it and thought positive affirmative thoughts.

You will not have an erection