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With a new partner, I find it extremely difficult to keep the flow going. I’m so focused on the act itself that foreplay seems to have lost its purpose: it’s not a bout a pleasure but merely a small window of life opportunity for me to get an erection and begin intercourse.
When she is on me, it,s usually easier to maintain the erection.
I continue to do oral or for-play, until I can get hard.
i focus on her instead of me,
My #1 thought process is to honesty just not rush. Pauses are okay, breaks are okay, etc. There’s this weird pressure that you guys need to be making out or doing something sexual every second but in reality little moments of just not doing that are completely normal and should be welcomed.
I want to try having my partner put the condom on me, maybe while kissing
kissing… this keeps my mind focused on the above and not down below.
If I sense things are going wrong I don’t bother trying to push it. I just immediately stop and gently but firmly take my partner’s attention off me, focusing on her instead.
One way I found is by masturbating myself or by touching myself on places I like about it. I liked the Silva idea about turning condom time into a game. Not been one’s person responsibility.
I find it helpful to maintain physical contact and put it on in stages - for example I can unwrap the condom while my partner fellates me and then she can put it on herself. Anything to avoid the pause!
By continuing foreplay.
Switch things up a bit change who’s engaging who
Focus on the feeling of her kissing my body/ her waiting expectantly for me to put it on
Start penetration without a condom and only later on Use it has helped
I’ve found success in my partner continuing to touch me while I unwrap and put on the condom.
Physical contact and sexual talking can keep me in the flow, moans as well
Recentering myself and remembering to enjoy the experience helps, but not all of the time.
If it doesn’t get up or cums too fast, just keep focusing on her pleasure and doing whatever it takes to make her feel good. Tongues and fingers sometimes work as well as (or better than!) an erect penis!
Continue kissing, touching, talking. Pleasuring my partner