It comes as a general worry that I’ll leave both of us disappointed, again. Then if I’m really in my head there will be a voice, usualy my own, telling me I should just give it up since I haven’t fixed this yet so I’m unlikely to fix it at all.
Doubts in satisfying my partner
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At the slightest mention of sex I’m already mentally preparing to be disappointed.
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Doubting myself, my performance, and how long I’ll last for my wife. Instead of enjoying the moment/moments leading up to sex, I’m simply in my own head.
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As soon as I understand that I’m gonna have sex, I think I won’t be able to last for long cos I simply get too tired, or what if I cum to early and leave her disappointed again.
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I always hold off when my partner wants sex, because I know I’ll finish quick like I have every other time I’ve been with them. It feels degrading and brings me deep sadness and shame knowing I can’t please my partner for more than a minute.
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Need confidence on lasting ability
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I can’t have the freedom to do multiple things when having sex, and move from a certain position to something else like oral, because I know I won’t last long enough when having actual penetration
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Tells me I’m a bad person, makes me focus on my shortcomings (pun intended…), doesn’t always speak in full sentences but in feelings
Doubt from myself has created doubt in my partner, thinking it can’t be better has me feeling like I’ll lose them and I’m sad I can’t please them.
Stops me from enjoying sex or trying new things. I’ll come too quickly so I just need to do the best I can to make sure my wife is still satisfied so she doesn’t stop wanting to be intimate with me. My wants/needs don’t matter as they aren’t possible.
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By trying to making me aware of my limitations in order to help me overcome them, it ends up worrying me to the point of all the things I was trying to avoid, end up happening.
Judgemental, I don’t think that I should want to have sex and if I do then I’m gross - stops me before I start, creates lots of guilt.
Tells me I’m going to cum before her and she won’t be satisfied. My inner critic tells me that we can’t change positions or I might lose the erection if I miss the hole on the first try.
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Subtle and convincing.
Probing
Avoid going on dates or building lasting relationships cause I feel like I won’t be able to satisfy my partner by always cumming quick and not having control. Feel shame and disappointment
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I avoid going on dates or building relationships and am generally avoidant of women because I am scared to finishing too quick. It is tough as I would like to get into a relationship but am scared to start trying.
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I’m scared to break up with my partner because I’m worried I won’t find someone else because of the fact I cum too fast. This scares me
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I avoid sex because I’m scared of cumming to fast