I never had problem with getting long erection but since I have a new girlfriend which is hot cant lie, we had sex after dinner and it was fine, but since the day after I only get erection for first couple seconds, but when we undress ourselves or do a foreplay, I cant get hard no more so the sex doesnt even start, and if I do get erection we have to both be undressed so I can quickly start the act, otherwise I know I will loose it…
I get anxious a lot during sex, I always overthink wondering the other person is enjoying it or if I’m big/good enough. It usually ends with me cumming too soon or losing my erection
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Feeling’s of previous failure and needing to be perfect impact me frequently, to the point I usually have a drink to calm my anxious thoughts
Yes. Especially lately, right before. I’ll be fine one minute, and the just as we’re getting down to business, my heart-rate skyrockets, I feel nervous energy, and I can’t get past that enough to get fully hard. In those instances, sometimes I can get hard, but I immediately cum, and no one is happy.
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Yes and it ruins the experience. I lose the erecting immediately
Yes, I think if I stop going I’ll turn soft.
Yes, when I get anxious during sex I start sweating, get embarrassed and lose my erection.
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I definitely need to connect to my softness, the ease and pleasure of it. As in performance matters outside sex, I feel this obsessive need to be hard to deliver the goods and services. But it isn’t. For some reason, I fuck life, rather than feel it. So, yes, in trying to come to terms with other aspects of my performative life, I reckon getting some objective contextualisation of my sexual experiences in the open space and company of those willing to connect will help me relax into the sharing pleasure with another.
yeah I was.I am not sure if it is physical issue or mental issue. Recently, I have diagnosed with hyper-tension and I am not sure if the medication is affecting my sex life.
Anxious when penetrative- will my penis stay hard and this can cause me to over think it too much.
Yes anxious about not being able to get hard. I start overthinking and spectatoring, willing my dick to get hard which probably makes the whole situation worse. I feel I have this ED burden hanging on me - I don’t look at sex as fun experience, to me it’s really stressful
As I gay man who only bottomed for the first few months of being sexually active, I was always scared to try topping my boyfriend. I dreaded my inexperience and was worried that I wouldn’t be good at it or that I wouldn’t stack up to his previous partners. I also got really in my own head because he is much taller than me. This, combined with the fact that I was a late bloomer and have always been kind of small and thought of as more submissive, made me feel really uncomfortable taking on the more dominant role in sex. I also felt a lot of pressure because I know that he wanted me to do it, and I was worried that it would put our relationship in jeopardy if I wasn’t able to perform. I’ve found that being honest with him about it has helped ease my nerves a lot, but I still struggle with the fight or flight anxiety in the moment.
I felt I didn’t become sexually active until later in life, so I feel that everyone I engaged with was more experienced than I was and I had to live up to this expectation that I already had it figured out.
I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months. The first 5 months we had the best sex. I had no problems getting an erection and I could perform easily. Then my work got busy, was remodeling my house, and I found out that my boyfriend had 3000 friends on Facebook some of which contact him regularly. He has assured me that he does not respond to anyone that seems to be flirting. We love each other so much. This is a love unlike any love I have experienced. After this episode, I noticed that it was difficult to either get an erection or maintain it. Every time he wanted me to give him anal sex, I would get soft instantly. I never experienced that in the early months. Nowadays I noticed that my erection is not as hard as it has been in the past. I can do anal sex on him but not with a very strong erection. Our most recent sexual experience, I could not get an erection. We talked about it and he is very understanding. I am 44 years old. He is 54. His erection is way harder than mine. I just wish I could go back to my erections that came easy and were maintained.
I get anxious when you are starting out with a new partner, its all pressure applied to myself to perform and make it a good experience, totally overthinking the situation which can lead to a loss of erection. I found over the years that i would take medication the first couple of times with a new partner, just until i had some confidence in my erection. Time to address the issue and not keep going round in circles
I become afraid that I will lose my erection. Any external stimuli becomes a hurdle to enjoying my partner. They are easily distracted also and I worry that I am getting into their head and being obtrusive.
In a negative cycle of, anxious about how long I last, all i literally think about, dont last long, compounds the anxiousness, cycle repeats. Then I turn to drink and drugs to help me relax during sex but then annother voice pops up about how i cant have sex sober and another cycle begins
I tend to get anxious when I know sex is on the horizon, that i will need to perform and about how embarrassing it will be if i cannot. Even when i have an erection while hooking up i get anxious that i will lose it
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yes. the more i think the worse it gets
Yes. It causes me to get in my head and lose my erection. My anxiety makes me question if I will perform to my own standards as well as meet her expectations - in doing so my mind takes over my body and I lose my ability to perform at all.