My ex was a control freak and always on the phone etc. it became a hugely toxic I would even say abusive (not physically)Now that relationship is over after many years I feel like I’ve become a bit clingy. I’m used to constant contact and my current partner is not at all. I sometimes resent that she doesn’t initiate contact very much when we’re apart but I love the freedom I have now to have friends and interests and not feel they clash. The answer I think is in me. I can see why I am the way I am. If I feel like I’m making more effort I silently mirror the effort I receive so I don’t get left feeling like I’m chasing and she brings the effort up to meet me always without me saying. We have talked. About our past relationships and still sometimes reveal old scars we didn’t know existed so we have a safe word to take the temperature down if there is a disagreement and there is something deeper to discuss without the conflict
I felt detached from our relationship. I needed to understand where we were at have it explained to me easily but I struggled to convey this.
She couldn’t understand my point of view as I couldn’t convey it. This resulted in both of getting more annnoyed and upset.
My partner is an avoidant, which is odd because usually I’m the avoidant in my relationships.
She became distant again and unresponsive. I made time to see her and apparently there was a miscommunication on her availability, and we rescheduled for the next day. It made me feel very insecure. When we meet, I asked her to prove that she was where she said she was. It got ugly.
I realized my mistake that night on my way home. I did not take responsibility of my insecurity and placed it on her, and demanded that she fix it. I hurt and insulted her.
What I actually needed was reassurance. I should have expressed my insecurity, asked for reassurance, and allowed her to decide how to do it if at all.
I have been hooking up with this gal who has anger issues. She randomly started talking shit on her mom and I asked why she was so angry and to be cool because we were snuggling and having a good day. Did not help. She’s a ball of stress and confusion, but I could have de-escalated the situation better rather than getting myself worked up about her problems.
My dad’s feeling and need might to be understood for his struggles trying to take care of me and my sister as a child. My need is an acknowledgement that he wasn’t around as much as I needed him to be and that I still need that now.
I don’t think this is the cause of my ED
My partner and I are avoidant types. He also has anxiety, which came out when I confronted him about something. This made it even harder for me to discuss my feelings with him because it’s usually one way
I’m realizing I’m horrible at this. I am not good At asking for reassurance or for attention And it has pushed me away from people before
She was furious. She wanted to feel taken care of after a very hard week at work.
I was insecure and needed intimacy. She was worn out and needed connection.
My wife had a 10 page paper due the day after a friend’s holiday party earlier this week. When time came closer to go she was noticeably irritable and took some frustration out on me.
I admittedly took what she said too personally and should have done better to understand her situation. She was stressed about our daughter being taken care of for the night, finishing her paper the next day while I was at work, and going to see some friends when she just wanted to relax.
I could have done better in terms of taking a step back and acknowledging how much pressure she felt.
I def get reactive and angry sometimes when I feel like someone is overstepping my boundaries. Could use this mindful way to communicate to defuse better, and to let the other know how they are triggering me
Conflicts have been well managed atleast
Need to be heard
When I get angry it is usually because I am frustrated and can’t resolve something.
It was an argument about my driving. In hindsight, I’m guessing she felt unsure, insecure, resentful and needed reassurance and demonstration of competence and strength. I felt insecure, resentful, not supported. I needed to know she was on my side
During Christmas, I was trying to use the floor space to assemble a piece of furniture. My partner came in and I asked her to let me have the space and she got mad at me. I could tell this was more ax reflection of her stress and less of her being mad at me so I patiently let her have the space as needed.
Devo aprirmi di piú sui miei sentimenti di frustrazione