Wife and I are on two different planes of existence

Been struggling with this for years. My wife and I have been married for 11 years. Since we had our first kid 8 years ago our sex life has progressively diminished over time. Her lack of desire has led to a lot of self doubt and ED. Talking has only solved it short term. It’s progressed so much she’s not even fully aware of the extent of my ED. Always goes back to the same. When I get turned down I get so pissed, which I know only makes it worse. But I can’t help it. We used to have sex so often I sometimes wonder if my expectations were set too high early on.

Anyone else have these issues with the spouse?

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Yes similar situation for me. When we were dating we both regularly enjoyed sex, then when we got married it became less and ever lesser once we had kids (now monthly is optimistic). Now it’s a real challenge, partially because I’ve been cumming too early and just how hectic our lives our with kids (the latest born earlier this year).

We’ve fight about it sometimes and there are some rooted issues I’ve been working hard on addressing (mainly my share of household load), but I just don’t know how to get on the same page either. I’d be thrilled with every 1-2 weeks, but feel she would be fine going months between. It definitely impacts my self esteem/ worth because I’ve never been more attracted to her and it feels like she doesn’t have any to me.

We’re taking a break right now (my initiation) due to how stressful it became and the phase we’re in with some young children. She was feeling obligated and then was also mad when I came too quickly and wasn’t very supportive in overcoming it…Anyway we’ll see how it goes over time, it still impacts me and I’m afraid how long it will be. Let us know if you crack the code. Good luck!

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You definitely get it. It’s also baffling that we’re expected not to come too quickly when we’re going so long in between. Best of luck to you as well. Thanks for the reply and support.

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