I want to no longer feel ashamed of liking what I like, porn included. I watch it minimally anyways, nithing psychologically deep, only b/c I’m horny and my gf isnt always w/me at every given moment since we have busy days sometimes. Instead, I view it as part of the many other things I find sexy and gets me going. I want to be more accepting of myself having this perception of porn rather than feeling ashamed for liking it. Once the shame is gone, so are my sexual insecurities both on and off the screen.
I was widowed over two years ago and there were issues surrounding alcohol, anxiety, etc in our relationship that affected our sex life. My wife didn’t like porn and that lead me to hide it from her, and hide what sort of porn I was watching. It became a shameful thing for me and she would sometimes try to “catch me” doing it. I don’t know that it was malicious on her part but I’m beginning to think it make things worse between us. Then, she passed unexpectedly, leaving me alone with all this unresolved. I started to use porn a lot more to “shut my brain off” and have generally enjoyed it, but I’ve been approaching it like I’ll never have another partner again. Now that I’m in my late 40s and have an opportunity for an intimate relationship with someone else, I’m super worried I won’t be ready to perform the way I want when it’s time. And, I’m terrified of doing a disappointing job (which means getting and maintaining a hard enough erection for sex).
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Hey there. Thanks for sharing. I have a similar backstory except a separation and not widowed. Ended two years ago, porn was an issue then (not accepted) and I was shutting my brain off to it after the split on a regular basis. Recently started dating again. Being aroused was an issue early on with my new girlfriend and I feared it was due to porn but realized soon after intimacy started it was more to do with comfort level, and being in my own head. Some of the strategies on this app do make a huge difference. Box breath, visualizing your inner voice, etc. Our first two attempts were a no go. Started looking at the strategies on this app and voila next attempt was great. My experience has been the porn use prior to meeting someone new didn’t really affect me. It’s more about making sure you can get and stay in the moment. My two cents. Good luck out there!
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I want to stop my porn use until I can get and maintain an erection with a partner.
Have real life sex and not watch porn at all
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Not watch it at all.
I don’t want porn to be the thing that gives me the confidence for whether or not I will get hard in real sex
I don’t want to use visual porn, and only twice a week max
Just use it from time to time
Not feel guilty about it
I am not addicted to porn and I can easily not watch it. I think the way I masturbate with my own hand makes me cum every time but during sexual intercourse I am not doing it with my own jand and it makes the cumming much more difficult
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Not use websites like pornhub that use fake actors n shit
I want to quit all in all
Gradually wean myself off of it
I would like to ween myself off or go down to once every two or three months.
I no longer wish to be dependent on porn and deepen my anxiety. I will continue on this path of self growth, and I will never watch porn again.
Watch less extreme fantasy stuff
I’ve long enjoyed porn and even having it in my daily life wasn’t an issue - in my 20s and 30s I chalked my endurance in the bedroom up to what is now called edging. It was a net positive in a lot of ways.
But a couple of years ago I started using it to kill time midday - I was working from home and a new assignment saw my workload drop significantly.
What used to be a fun way to blow of some steam turned into a way to fill a few hours while keeping a casual eye on my inbox.
Then it became a habit to just do that when I had spare turn throughout the day, and it seems to have led to me rarely being in the mood with my partner, and noticing that solo or not, I was taking longer to get fully hard, and by the time I was totally erect I was pretty much on the precipice of ejaculation. I don’t even need to be fully hard to climax, which I didn’t think was possible.
I’m hoping that shifting the balance away from filling time in the day with it will help my performance in the bedroom and overall erection strength. I’d rather do it naturally through here as opposed to taking pills
I would like to utilize it less for stress & eventually move away from it
Not use it as a way to deal with stress or end of day before bed