Bear with me as I provide some background. I separated from my ex-wife nearly three years ago, with sex being a significant reason for our split. I’m an above-average-looking guy and have had no issues finding women to sleep with since then. I’ve been with all types: short, tall, busty, and curvy. However, I’ve never been able to “feel” anything emotional for any of these women, most of whom I’ve met via dating apps. Once the sex is over, my interest vanishes. I know it sounds bad, but I always make a point to be honest about my intentions beforehand.
Then I met this girl, let’s call her V (she’s 24, and I’m 32). I met V at the apartment complex pool where I live. She had similar tastes to mine, was much younger, liked anime, and enjoyed sex as much as I did. Our situationship lasted three weeks, and I’ve never been so hung up on someone. Those three weeks moved fast—we slept together multiple times, she stayed over at my apartment 6-7 times, and I even took care of her when she had the flu. For the first time in almost three years, I felt something. It was as if the floodgates had opened.
From the beginning, we were both clear (mostly because she said it first) that this was nothing serious. But after everything we shared, I couldn’t help but catch feelings. Sometimes she would sleep over without us having sex; we’d just cuddle and watch TV.
The sex was out of this world. I’ve never been a fan of giving oral sex to women, but with her, I spent over an hour between her legs, just hearing her moan and enjoying every moment. It was a first for me. Additionally, for the first time, I felt like I was making love. I’m not sure she felt the same way, but that’s how it was for me. The connection I had with her was something I’d never experienced before.
I know I’m rambling; I’m not a writer, so bear with me while I pour out my thoughts.
Now, the situationship has ended. She said she met someone else and doesn’t want to be with more than one person at the same time because she considers this new guy for something serious.
Even though V and I shared a lot in common, I know that even if she wanted to be with me, it wouldn’t work. She has a lot of hard-nos for me. She’s a party girl, and I barely go to nightclubs. She’s arrogant and thinks the world owes her everything just because she’s pretty. She’s used to getting everything she wants from guys because of her looks, but that doesn’t fly with me. I’m very well off, but if you ask for something, I won’t give it. Don’t ask, and you’ll get the world from me.
I think she sensed all of this, and that’s why she decided to go with someone else. In any case, I haven’t felt this heartbroken in ages. I can’t stop thinking about her, fantasizing about unrealistic scenarios where she comes back to me, even though I know we wouldn’t work long-term. I can’t stop thinking about our sex, our time together, our laughs. I’m totally in love and feel stupid because I only knew her for three weeks. I’ve cut all communication with her and do my best not to look at her IG stories.
I don’t even know why I’m posting this here. I think I just needed to vent and get everything in writing so it’s not all in my head.