I understand that my mind should ideally be on the experience not on spectatoring, but sometimes when I do this I feel I’m “trying too hard” to make myself hot my oversexualizing the experience in my mind, which makes it less hot.
I think back to times where I’m not anxious and get an erection easily (usually once I’ve been dating a girl for a while) and I don’t need to focus hard on the situation, it just happens. But I recognise that to distract from the inner critic I need some kind of focus.
Has anyone dealt with something similar? In short, I don’t wanna focus too hard on the situation to force it to seem hot, and I don’t want to focus on inner critic.