Sudden weaker erections or trouble getting one


Since 4 weeks ago, I started having more difficulty getting an erection.
Before that, I could easily get them, either by thinking about sex or watching pictures or women I know (even without nudes, just face pictures), I would would masturbate 4 to 8 times per week while looking at the pictures.

Most of those pictures are from a women with whom I have an affair that is on hold (she is married too), due to the pandemic, being very distant from each other (about 1 hour an an half driving) and due to the fact she had a baby 2 years ago and has 2 other children too, plus a complicated work schedule. So for the last 3 years, we have had only “sexting”. I had the best sex of my life with her (and I genuinely love her), and she had the best sex of her life with me as well (she loves me too).

Over time, I kept more and more masturbating while thinking about her and looking at pictures of her that she sends me (some are nudes, others are just picture of her with clothes).
I rarely look at pictures, or think of, other women when masturbating, even those I used to masturbate in the past They no longer seem appealing to me.

About 4 weeks ago, I started having difficulty getting erections, or maintaining one. The events:

  1. Me and a long time friend, who’s living now in another country, have scheduled an encounter for a threesome - me, her, and her boyfriend, which is a fantasy the 3 of us have. I have never met her boyfriend yet, and I have never had sex with her alone before. So I suspect this is causing some anxiety on my side, and maybe making erections harder to get and maintain;

  2. My wife, who is close to 50 years old, is getting less and less interested in sex, and it’s getting harder and harder to make her cum. About 4 weeks ago, for the first time, after kisses, cuddling, etc, she was completely dry, which was a surprise for me, and I got frustrated and lost my erection and the will to continue. We’ve retried a few times after that, and the dryness problem remains - after some oral sex she gets a bit wet, but not much, and making her cum only with the help of a vibrator while using my fingers or tongue. I also notice that during foreplay and while masturbating her and doing oral sex to her, I don’t get an erection anymore - maybe because I get frustrated, anxiety due to that first bad experience with her? I later get an erection if she starts touching and licking my penis, and I’m able to cum with oral sex.

Now I’m worried. Are these two events causing me difficulty in getting erections and maintain them?

I can still get an erection for masturbation, by thinking of my secret lover or looking at her pictures, though it takes a bit longer than it used to before those 2 events.

My questions:

  1. has anyone went through a similar experience? How did you overcome it?

  2. The fact that I masturbate, 99% of the time with pictures of my secret lover, is causing some weird rewiring of my brain like Porn does to some people?

  3. I’m worried I won’t be able to get an erection with women other than my secret lover, even women that I find attractive, like my threesome friend. Did anyone experienced this? How did you overcome it?