Had a short, but painful bout of ED about 20 years ago. Lost two girl friends over it. Got passed it by focusing on fantasy and sadly pills. Recently had problems again after 20 years. Going through some financial problems and I´m in my late 50s now. Still expecting to have rock hard erections at any time and for as long as I like. When I didn´t, I went into full panic attack mode. Found this site about three weeks ago. Since finding it, I have been batting about .500 with my life partner. I misinterpreted being present with not fantasizing. That resulted in the negative .500. When I went back to fantasizing, I was able to perform. The true success however came on a recent 10 day vacation where I forgot my ED meds. I had been open with my partner about the issue and told her about the EDs. She had no idea I had been taking them our whole relationship. She was incredibly supportive and we had sex one evening, the next morning and the following eventing. All without pills. I am not as relaxed as I want to be. My inner critic is present with the possibility of failing, but not feeling like I need to have the erection of a 19 year old is a huge stress reliever. For me the keys have been: 1) fantasizing; 2) communication with my partner; 3) accepting and enjoying my performance for what it is (there will be other at bats if not 100%).
Huge win that you were able to go without the pills!!
I agree. While the pills help me get and stay harder, they also seem to diminish the sensation on orgasm and make it harder to orgasm. Never thought I would choose this path, but I plan to continue with my partner without the pills and see how far back I can get. My libido has returned with a vengeance after communicating with my partner. My attention is switching from worrying about performing to making plans for new ways to play. Definitely helping our relationship as well.
Same for me with the pills. I started taking them because I had performance anxiety out of nowhere at 46 years old kind of crazy. Been with my wife for 15 years . I guess there were some contributing factors that we’re working on but still crazy the way it developed so fast. I got psychologically dependent on the pills pretty quick . Definitely notice the same things orgasm felt completely different ( sensitivity ) and definitely could last a lot longer. Also it messed with my vision. That’s crazy that you say you forgot your pills cause I often thought about am I gonna have to take these things on vacation with us lol. But just a couple short weeks ago my wife wanted to sneak upstairs for a quickie and I was able to perform with no pills. After this I decided to try without them and we’ve had five or six successful experiences all natural. I definitely don’t last long but it feels good to break the cycle of being reliant on pills . My anxiety is not completely gone but I am able to battle off the inner credit and have success.