Just before entering. The attention it requires and stiffness required can be mind consuming
After ED happened for the first time, every time I get close to my girl, I get conscious. I keep checking on my penis, if it’s getting hard. And guess what, it doesn’t get hard. So my trigger is thought of sex itself.
The more my partner asks for it and dirty talks about hardness, the more the inner voice is like “ya, don’t expect that, you’re gonna be disappointed”.
Background noise of possible kids. Sometimes bad odors.
The main anxiety I feel is that it’s happened before and it could happen this time. I’d equate it with trying not to think about something— pineapples, for example. You’re going to think about pineapples.
For me it’s when it’s time to put it in. Usually with oral or handjobs I stay hard, but when I switch to having sex, the worry kicks in and sometimes I lose it even as I’m putting it inside, or right after I go in. Then it’s very awkward and hard to get it back.
The transition between foreplay and sex and taking my penis out to change positions
Like Xander, I too have an issue with condoms. It started with my very fist sexual encounter. When I put it on I can feel my penis getting soft and I just struggle to maintain my erection. It feels like the condom squeezes all the blood out of my penis
If im not in the mood but she is that makes me anxious about not getting an erection or if we are having sex and we stop to move to a different area that does as well, also when i wore condoms they used to cause this issues too.
Yes, whenever I start penetration with condoms I subconsciously get a feeling this not gonna work because I think condoms reduces the best experience of sex.
My partner and have great foreplay, we both get very aroused and I start to get hard. Once she notices me getting hard she will immediately want to go down on me or want me to penetrate her. Thats when I immediately get inside my head and panic about getting fully hard and maintaining my erection.
I can tell that she gets into because she wants to please me as much as I want to please her. I can honestly say I am not so sure that I have been with someone that wants to please me as much as I want to please them and it is intimidating.
Condoms are definitely a trigger for the same reasons discussed in the video, but also just undressing if we’re not naked yet.
In general just going from foreplay to intercourse is also when the pressure and spectatoring kicks in and I can go from hard to soft in seconds. It turns on that super sharp focus on my penis and if I sense the tiniest obstacle (not being already hard, have to put on condom, etc) then the panic kicks in and it’s basically game over at that point.
Anytime with a new partner I feel less connected with them and thus place more pressure on myself to perform which leads to spectating and anxious thoughts from my inner critic l also start to overthink the entire process and instead of focusing on pleasure and spontaneity I think about exactly what I should be doing if I should be leading and worry if my partner is enjoying the moment
As others here have said, any sort of break in the “flow” where I have time to think can make me lose my erection.
I feel nervous that I can’t maintain the erection and can’t enjoy the sex with my partner
not being able to get hard instantly
The getting hard process… because once it starts to grow i start to believe it’s not going to make it to the top
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Like when my partner asks me; are you sure you’re gonna get hard? Then I start thinking about it.
When I start to have actual sex I worry that I’m not going fast/hard enough to pleasure my partner I then start to think about wanting to orgasm just to get me out of the situation because I don’t want to go soft and upset her and when I can’t feel I’m close I worry that I’m not going to and then I start to feel myself going soft and it all goes downhill from there.
Breaking the flow of sex definitely triggers anxiety for me…something a bit clumsy/silly happening for example.