When my wife says she wants to have intercourse I get nervous, I feel like so much of a beginner when it comes to sex and I start going limp pretty quickly.
The biggest issue for me is spectatoring. Even when we’re not even started foreplay, like just cuddling together and don’t know if it’ll happen, if I get hard I start thinking about it. And when we are into foreplay I’m constantly checking how hard I am, if it’ll be enough for intercourse. Also when we move from foreplay to intercourse it also happens. Probably it’s what was said in one of the videos, just a slight decrease and panic mode activated.
Condoms are what started my performance anxiety the first times I had sex. I couldn’t stay hard the first few times I had put one on and after that the idea of a condom was crazy to me. I thought it was me and band-aid solution was to just not wear a condom.
When my penis doesn’t get stiff.
Putting on condoms, drinking alcohol beforehand, when I haven’t gotten much sleep the night before, when it’s really late at night and I am tired.
When we change positions throughout Sex it happens and I’m worried I’m going to lose it during those few seconds
i’m very protective of my penis so there’s feelings of being uncomfortable with the idea of things outside of me touching me which kills the mood
As people have mentioned below, I find I can get very hard during foreplay, kissing, exploring my partners body, when I don’t feel any pressure. But the moment we move things forward towards penetration, away from kissing, touching etc, I start to become conscious, worry sets in, anxiety commences.
When it happened at first we were having sex and I doubted myself into if she was enjoying it. This build up my anxiety and has to stop. We’ve had sex a lot over the past few years and I don’t know why I thought that. Then the next time we go to have sex in a day or two, that moment is stuck in my head about how I went down and couldn’t revive myself. This lead to myself thinking she’s going to be watching it more to make sure it’s up and working and putting this feeling of anxiety and pressure on myself to perform
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Right as I’m about to penetrate it goes completely soft
Yeah sometimes when im making out with my partner and i get aroused but when its time to have sex and i pull down my pants my erection is still there but as i am about to put it in, i lose my erection because i thinking is it going to work this time or i hope i dont lose my erection this time. So like the transition from forplay to penetration is what gets me also when switching positions. Sometimes i dont want to because i think that if i take it out then I’ll lose my erection
I get anxious and lose my erection if my partner is in a hurry for me to penetrate them. There comes the pressure that makes me lose my erection. Most times if my partner takes the lead, I lose erection.
Sometimes just the thought of having to too can lead me to focus too much on having a strong enough erection to penetrate that I lose it. Other times it’s the position that makes me lose it, such as when the guy is on top. I just get the thought that I can’t keep the erection in that position because of past performance but that triggers the loss of the erection.
Condoms have always lead to a loss of erections either during the act of putting it on or during sex. I’ve always moved a relationship to not using them to remove that anxiety.
These past two years since my divorce, just wanted to have fun. Online dating is a weird world that often gets sexual quickly, and with a few potential partners, hotter and much younger (I’m 52) tha I ever imagined hooking up with, we’ve taken it offline, got very hot and heavy, decide to meet, and it feels like the moment has been built up so
much, that I have to deliver on being a sexual dynamo because the sexting was so hot & bothered. And a couple of awkward encounters of not being able to get it up has me thinking this is the way it will be.
I am just constantly thinking about pleasing my partner because I want her to find me sexually desirable, which when I think rationally I know she does but the concern about performing for her kills my erection. I have been using viagra for sometime without her knowing and that was working great, but now I feel I almost have a dependence on the drug and iv found that it’s effects are becoming less and less noticeable, which furthers my anxiety about the situation
The idea of penetration itself sends me soft. Up until then I’m fine. It’s the transition from for play to penetration. I’m okay if all feels a natural progression but if it’s suddenly expected or wanted I go into spectator mode
Putting on condoms
Feeling I am good soft or not hard enough
When I can’t get it in, and when my girlfirend is sitting on top
Having to do it to closely back to back makes me anxious. If it’s been a few weeks since I’ve had intercourse, I feel fine. It is been a day or two, I can get anxious.
Usually the first time getting physically intimate. Also transitioning from foreplay to sex