Amen to this mate, I am in a very similar scenario and would do anything for it all to work as normal
Just needed to share my story, kind of feels like an achievement. So I have been suffering with this awful anxiety about performance, I’ve met a woman and I’m not going to lie, it’s complicated and a bit of a rollercoaster, but she is Into me and I’m into her. so, I’m more than half way through the course, ive taken on board the info I’ve learnt, but still didn’t have the confidence to perform, as anyone reading this would know, talking to a woman about this can be tricky, but anyway I told her.i have this anxiety about first time sex and sober sex and well she listened and asked questions andl that was that, I mentioned it again today before having sex and it really helped, just the fact that I was sharing it rather than being a silent sufferer made a massive difference , it was hard stayed hard.and I cum when she said she wanted to feel it.Its definitely a step In the right direction , so if
anyone is still suffering, communication is not to be underestimated, be brave, you might just be surprised
I know exactly what you are talking about. Condoms are really hard to conquer if you get it in your head that you can’t get or keep an erection with one on.
I spoke to a guy on Mojo connect last night who has had to start wearing them with his wife. He has noticed a big improvement and says he actually quite enjoys condoms now after taking the advice in the Silva and Xander interview in the Understanding Erections course. In short if you can turn the putting the condom on into something fun and not a chore that stops the flow it can really help. Get your partner to be a part of that.
Once you get over the mental block of condoms making sex less sensitive I think you will find it won’t have as big an effect as you expect.
Have you thought about using different types of condoms to spice it up a bit? Ribbed, tingle etc.
This is awesome, thanks so much for sharing. Honestly inspirational and will help loads of other guys take the plunge.
Great job telling this woman before you have had sex with her. That is the hardest to do.
I have always suffered with a bit of ED. First I remember it happening was when I was 21 and its happened on and off since. When I’m alone I have no problem getting it up but when I’m with my girlfriend I lose it either during foreplay or when we start having sex. I was married for 7 years and didn’t have this issue but when me and my wife split and began dating my current girlfriend the problem started again. We are in a long distance relationship and didn’t see eachother for almost a year during lockdown and since being able to see eachother again the problem is worse than ever! The worst part is that it is driving a wedge between us and she feels rejected because of it and is convinced that she is the issue. I feel I’m going to end up losing her because of this so need help! Thanks for reading
yeh feel that mate. Similar to you, I feel like I’ve been avoiding sorting this out for way too long. Hopefully jumping on here and learning is the start!
I have joined Mojo as I want to improve my sex life. The guided meditations and body scans have already made me start to focus more on the sense of touch when watching sex. I’ve never had sex yet. I want to have the best possible sex with my girlfriend when it happens.
I am 28 years old and have dealt with ED for 8 years. I have investigated the physical causes, such as low T, sleep apnea, etc and all are fine or fixed. I know that my problem is completely psychological. I got my dream forever job about a year ago and recently met an amazing girl who I actually see a future with. My life honestly is complete except for this issue. Somehow Mojo popped up and I thought I would give it a shot. I really hope that I can get past this issue.
Sounds positive mate. Hopefully getting on Mojo is the first step!
I struggle to maintain a strong erection. I got it but then as soon as we are going to practice penetration I switch my attention to my penis and become very self-conscious of my self, leading very often to losing the erection. I also noticed that during penetration my erection is not as hard as it could be.
In my first sexual encounter the girl pulled back on my foreskin which at the time was too tight and was later circumcised however at the time it was incredibly painful thus causing me to lose my erection in my first ever sexual encounter! The knock on effect from that has meant years of losing erections and having lots of anxiety about keeping it up…and that’s why I’m here.
I am 19 and had one bad experience a month ago and since then it’s all i have been thinking about. I overthink every erection I have. I think so much about it that i do not usually get them randomly during the day like i did not to long ago. I want to do sexual activities but it’s been difficult recently. I have no problem with masturbation just with my new girlfriend.
I’ve struggled with performance anxiety since someone I was dating expressed frustration after I couldn’t maintain an erection with her, and eventually stopped seeing me because of it. I’ve carried the anxiety about it into every new sexual relationship since, and after over a decade have decided that it’s time to address what is clearly a psychological issue by trying to understand and deal with it psychologically, instead of just hoping next time will be different.
I have been relying for several years on ED medications such as viagra to alleviate performance anxiety to maintain firm erections. I have now met a partner I really like and we have been having good sex but i have been relying on medication still, although she is unaware of this. I am trying to stop using this medication and improve my erections gradually. On a couple of occasions I have managed to maintain an erection without the ed medication. However, this hasn’t been reliable and if I flop it causes me further anxiety. This is very much relates to performance anxiety as i feel my sexual performance is far better with the medication. In general terms, I find myself with a firmer erections when there is no pressure, and more difficulty when there is expectation of definite sex.
A gremlin in my head that asks whether I’m hard, rather than just letting me not think about it and enjoying it all … like the previous 20 years!
I got into a new relationship after more than an year of being single, first time we had sex it was just really bad and then again it happened many times to not be hard enough. I’m really concerned because I never had issues like this in the past
Whilst trying to research ED and delayed ejaculaion, I listened to a podcast with Angus and Xander that made me realise that I’m not alone in experiencing erection issues and it is more common than I would have first thought.
At lot of what I heard was similar to my own experiences, and I wanted to have access to ongoing therapy rather than going through a GP or psychosexual service. I find it difficult to confide in friends/family/colleagues also.
I have found the material informative so far, but I am not as consistent as I should be in accessing the site.
I hear you on this. I don’t feel a lot of stress, there is obviously some. But my doctor said that it was only stress and sleep related. Both seem manageable but erection issues still persist.
Hi, i am having similar issues to you. I’m am 30 and like you, being fairly young, and healthy, the anxiety is worse as I feel like it shouldn’t be happening at this age. Have you found anything that’s working for you?