My girlfriend’s only way to respond to me having anxiety to blame herself and get angry. She thinks i am cheating, not attracted, etc. i try to tell her that i just get nervous sometimes but she completely ignored my plea. I feel completely lost because she has created a negative environment around our experiences, how can i fix this problem of it arises again?
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Hey @lexical-plum-hoverfly - Thanks for sharing your story! I think anyone would feel lost in your situation. I’m not a therapist but one thing that has helped other guys in our community is being very clear about what’s going on inside them in these situations. So instead of saying “I just get nervous sometimes”, you could try explaining that you can get stressed in sexual situations because you care and want it to be a good experience. You put pressure on yourself, which then triggers the fight-or-flight response in your body, preventing you from maintaining your erection. I don’t know whether it’ll work for you and I know it can be a hard conversation to have, but it’s something to try.