Hey everyone. I don’t know how else to start this off. I have been married for 12 years and struggled with this for most of my life. I can get aroused at porn and for the most part it works (sometimes porn even makes me go soft) but anyway I’m 36 and I really have a non existent sex drive. Like there is nothing there. I wonder sometimes if I’m dealing in some sort of depression or anxiety (I know full well it’s anxiety when I go to have sex) but I am stuck. Don’t even really think about sex, don’t get aroused unless I put effort into it and I’ve tried the exercise I’ve tried lifting weights I’ve tried not masturbating for months I’ve tried it all. Nothing just don’t have a drive.
A weird thing happened the other night though I had a dream and it was there was a worm buried in the skin of my thumb and someone in the background said “you’ll need a doctor to get that out”. Now I don’t generally have vivid dreams so to have this one and remember it was strange. I googled the meaning of worms in dreams and I the same answer in a bunch of places. Worms represent deep seated emotions and it being in your skin means you have a deep buried emotions apparently.
Now the part where someone says “you’re going to need a doctor to get that out”. Is that my subconscious telling me I need to see a therapist? Haha like it was so vivid I can see the worm in my mind now and the words were right there I’m just wondering if my subconscious is just laying it out there plane and simple for me now because I’ve ignored my mental health for so long??