Not being able to ejaculate via touching

I get really anxious whenever the person I’m with sees or tries to feel my penis. It generally causes me to lose not just any erection I might have had, but also any arousal in general. Instead, I’m most aroused when my clothes are still on. I can orgasm by essentially humping her leg and ejaculating into my underwear. It feels amazing but I’m embarrassed by it, and it’s something that I wish I could experience with my clothes off.
Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I’m struggling to figure out how to have more confidence in my body and how to maintain an erection that could lead to not just penetrative sex, but any form of pleasure - oral, hand, etc.

I’ve had similar experiences and to be honest I’ve found that they were all quite fine with the dry humping. It’s a lot of fun. Don’t forget that sex for women is a whole experience that doesn’t strictly need to involve penetration. Not saying that you should settle there and not work on improving your erection ability, but it’s food for thought regarding the self-confidence aspect. Dry humping is way better than no humping haha

I used to have this for sure. Was a period of a couple years where I would go soft when I took my dick out, or shortly after I put it in her, but then again it would be extremely sensitive to simple cuddling or rubbing. Busted a few loads in my pants. I understand how embarrassing and hope - sucking that is. Idk why or how I got out of that, but I can tell you that I did. Still have my issues maintaining and getting an erection in the moment tho

Thanks for sharing this. It’s always interesting to see how we all share a similar performance anxiety in slightly different ways. My situation has been up and down for a few years now. I’ve only had my one partner so you’d think I’d be comfortable by now. Not exactly if anything it has worsened this past year. I know have some pretty intense performance anxiety and many times erections just seem impossible and my libido seems non-existent now. I can’t even masterbate any more. It truly is a mind bender. And the added stress is being able to bare children. I’m going to stick with this for as long as I can without meds. Let’s just keep working on ourselves and know that we can do this!

I have definitely had this too… I’ve met women in bars and been rock hard when we’ve been fooling around then completely lost our when it come to getting our clothes off. Weirdly I’ve also had great experiences when women have told me they are on their period and don’t want to do anything penetrative.

What I can say is that like others the women I have been with have really enjoyed the dry humping but it would be great to progress to the next level with the same confidence.

Long way of saying… You’re not alone. Hope the course goes well for you.

As you can already see you’re not alone! I’ve had this experience also. The position I took for a while with my wife was that beginning with underwear on was totally fine as long as I was willing to take 'em off when things start moving in a more serious direction.

However! I can say that this willingness to keep 'em on for a while put me in a bit of a rut and made it more challenging to want to take them off. When I began fully making peace with my body (a process that’s still ongoing…) I became more okay with starting things off completely naked. And guess what! I’m still not rock hard when things get started! That’s okay! I usually can become harder faster tho and that’s because I’m accepting my body and feel confident in that.

This is new for me, but I guess I’m experiencing something similar. My girl spent the whole weekend with me and we spent a LOT of time in the bedroom. I gave her a lot, but just not anything a hard penis could do. I was so excited to be next to her bare skin. That excitement, for some reason, did not get communicated below. No matter how often she touched it, it was like I had had an orgasm in tge last few minutes and there was no stimulation. I mean, I’m laying right next to a naked woman, someone I have fallen for deeply, and I’m not stilumated by her touching my penis. A couple times I inflated about half way but never enough, over 3 days, for penetration. She was gracious and said it was fine, but it’s not fine for me.

A bit of a random suggestion, but I recently got a subscription to Omgyes, the program that has a massive database on what is good sexually for women. Having confidence that you can give her pleasure while your clothes are still on might be helpful?
Another option, if you have a serious partner, or even a girl willing to help out, spend some time naked together not being intimate. If everytime you get naked it’s for sex, your body’s fight or flight might be attached to your clothing. Try doing mundane and non stressful activities together naked so you can get more relaxed in a naked state maybe?

i don’t cum but i actually get hard when i have clothes on and then nothing

Anybody ever have doubts about their penis size?

Oh cool