Nervous with my wife

To start my wife has been the her job for about 2 years. Since the start it’s been nothing but stress, she thinks work M-F all day( the weekends are ours …kinda) she has put on weight and tired all the time. We have sex roughly every 4-6 weeks for the last year. I don’t see her naked, we barley kiss/ touch. Whenever we start I get nervous, thoughts of can I get it up, will it stay hard. To the point that I cant or get off fast. Knowing it won’t happen again for a while it kills me. I can’t just be in the moment, it’s all about I want it all. I want to see, touch kiss it all cause I don’t know when I’ll get it again. How do I stay in the moment and enjoy that it’s happening?


Thanks for sharing this and I feel you - I wonder how much of this you have shared with her and I also wonder what’s going on for her? The ability to communicate this inner dialogue will be key to overcoming it. Our intimate relationships are often the most challenging to open up in, I also struggled to speak to my wife. But preparing for that conversation in an open, honest and non-blaming way will be key. I wish you well my friend


It’s really hard to communicate this with a woman-especially the wife! Thank God my wife and I spoke to each other about a similar situation and things became fine after that. Just speak to each other in a loving way when both of you are alone and hopefully this will be fixed. Btw, try giving her a massage before you two begin the convo


I’m in a similar position after 20 years of marriage we rarely have sex, busy lives kids etc. now so get so nervous that as soon as we start having sex I’m soft within a few minutes. Tried talking to my wife, didn’t get very far. She listens but doesn’t say much. How did get the conversation started what reply did you get?