Hi, I have an issue maintaining an erection when my partner is on top or when they generally have control of the situation. I find once I am in deep I lose all sensation and I can’t feel anything or even tell if I’m hard or not, which then leads to me assuming I am not and panicking. I think this situation is worse when wearing condoms as I feel I need maximum friction around the head of my penis to feel anything with condoms on. Anyone else suffer from this? or got any tips, or just have experience of overcoming this to give me hope??
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I can definitely relate to this. I generally lose sensation and my erection after a few minutes of intercourse, so I pull out and we work with our hands. It’s normal for an erection to come and go in a session, so that’s the first thing to keep in mind to avoid getting panicky. It’s all part of a normal flow of sex. You even see it in porn.
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I experience this same thing. Two main ways: her on top (as you mentioned), but also penetrating her from behind. There is more sensation that way than her on top, but I have noticed that I lose my erection after a while in that position. My solution is to do it for a while (she loves it), and then flip her onto her back and keep going before I lose it. That works 75% of the time. Sometimes it just fades. I‘ve found not getting uptight about it, and slowly making out for 10-15 minutes often results in me getting hard again. Then I‘m good to go.