I’m lightning McQueen when it comes to finishing, although I’m working on getting better. It’s a bit selfish but when I finish I usually feel pretty sexed out. That said, I want to be a team player and help everyone get there, but for some girls it seems like they don’t want to keep going after sex? Is that true or am I just making excuses? Also, any tips on PE are welcome (I’ve been doing kegels for 2-3 weeks but haven’t noticed a major difference, and even masturbating without porn, I’m pretty quick still :/)
I’m in the same boat as you. I’ve always cum quick, but lately it’s almost as soon as I enter.
I also can’t go again for hours. Sucks when you have a night away from the kids, and all I dream about for the week leading up to it is going to pound town!
Here are several things you can try:
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Belly breaths. It’s an idea (maybe in tantra?) that breathing deeply and feeling your belly expand while having sex sends the energy throughout your body, rather than all of it staying around your penis. When we are tense, our breath can become shallow, and when we are having sex, our focus on the penis sensations can be overpowering. Consciously breathing deeply can help relieve the stress and make you feel more in control and in sync with your body.
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Making sounds. In addition to deep exhales, I make sounds, like deep, slow sighs, that help to control the excitement. Similar to how some bodybuilders and tennis players will make sounds to release some energy, sighing, humming, or any kind of deep vocalizing you can make might help you have more control, and get you out of your mind and into the sensations. (And also tells your partner that you’re enjoying them!)
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Using an arousal scale, where 0 and 1 are when you’re flaccid, and 9 and 10 are the point where you’re going to cum no matter what. During masturbation and during sex, I find it helpful to check in with myself mentally to see where I am on the scale.
“I’m at a 5.” I.e. This feels good, and I can stay here for a while.
“I’m at a 7 or 8, and I want to last longer.” So I employ the strategies: back off a little, use longer and slower strokes, maybe even pull out and rest for a few seconds. A 7 and 8 can also be a good time to use your Kegel/reverse Kegel exercises to squeeze/push, until your number reduces.