I just got married and my wife and I both are virgins. We’ve tried to have sex a couple times and I have no issue getting an erection during our initial foreplay but I always lose it before we get to intercourse. We try to continue with more foreplay but it hasn’t worked. We’ve agreed that next time we try we’ll get straight to penetration as soon as I get hard but I still feel pretty anxious and discouraged.
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Hey brotha I just got married a couple of months ago and I can relate. My wife was a virgin and I was not, but I was celibate for the 4 years we dated before getting married so it was quite a while without sex. My biggest issue was that I was so used to turning down sexual advances and turning away from them while we were dating/engaged that it was hard to turn that switch off once we got married. I realized I had an issue of “spectatoring” which meant I was focused more on my performance, how we looked, and how good it felt for her, that I was ignoring all the sensations I was actually feeling in the moment. Once I started focusing on each small sensation it helped me maintain a better erecting and have much better sex. I recommend the mojo meditation for a body scan, it helped me a lot
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This is really normal - try not to panic. Mojo will really help you understand more about what is going on. If you can share what you are learning with your wife that might be really helpful for both of you. I am sure it would reassure her. Take things slowly, try and spend time together just touching and stroking. When you feel ready after doing some of the Mojo work, talk about it, have lots of lube, take things slowly. Communication is the best way forward for relationships, see if you can encourage that with both of you, it might seem awkward but it will be really helpful. Share what you like, what your not sure about, sensations, fears, hopes etc. Good luck and keep it relaxed and fun. : )
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I feel for you Man… performance anxiety is troubling me… independent of age and experience by the way…….spectatoring is my issue….
Follow the program… get out of your head… it works…
Enjoy your future life… it’ll be good… you got this…
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Thank you so much! my whole goal during the end of our engagement leading up to the wedding/wedding night was to be not selfish and make sure I got her to climax. it never occurred to me being a man that getting myself to climax would take some work lol I can definitely see “spectatoring” being something I struggle with.
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thank you so much man! We both have no clue what we’re doing lol so so far we’ve assumed that we need to head straight into making out and heavy petting. taking is slow is probably a good plan for the next time.