Due to some incredibly traumatic events that have happened in mine and my wife’s lives, my wife’s libido crashed several years ago. I love my wife and have no desire to go outside of our marriage for that fulfillment so I just started taking care of myself. I’ve always had a fairly high libido and so I just carried on when I felt the need.
Recently we found out there are injections for women to take to help them with desire. She decided to try those because she also missed having sex. The injections work really well, but suddenly I’m not staying hard and we have to pause for me to get my erection back several times. I think this is a combination of me having conditioned myself through porn and masturbation as well as a mental issue as well because having sex with my wife in recent years was a minefield we both had to navigate just to try.
Due to several posts I’ve seen on here, I have stopped the porn and masturbation to help reset myself. I’m good for a couple of days and then my body starts to want to have sex. And although the shots are amazing, my wife can only take 2 per week, and there are mild side effects, so I’m not asking her to be ready for me all the time. So can anyone give any advice on how to stay away from masturbation when you naturally have a higher libido?
Damn. That’s a tough one…
Good for her she’s sensitive to your needs!!
Is she against helping you out with a handy? Or maybe mutual masterbation? Or is there just no way without the shots? What if you introduce toys? My gf loves the vibe I bought a while back. She even used it on me….
Good luck man!!
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She does help out from time to time, but she just doesn’t get turned on like I get turned on, and that’s the part that I find sexiest. So while I appreciate her helping out, I don’t find it to be the most rewarding experience. We use toys on her during sex because it has been the only way she can orgasm, if she’s able to at all. The shots have changed that though, and she’s able to orgasm much easier and even have multiple orgasms, which is what our sex life was like years ago.
We’ve had sex every weekend for the past 4 weekends, which is the most consistent we’ve been in probably the last 10 years. She’s able to get out of her own head now and feel the sensations. But now our roles have reversed and I’m the one in my head and the last couple of times I can’t maintain an erection. But I’m hopeful with the help of this app and this community I’ll get back my confidence as well.
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Don’t give up man!!
You’re 4/4 lately on the weekends!!! That’s a huge W right there! Do the work on the app. Read all the topics here and responses in this forum. There’s lots of good stuff here!!
Maybe offer to go with her to counseling for the root trauma issue(s)??
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She and I are both in therapy separately for these issues, she prefers to be able to talk to her therapist alone. But I do support her in her journey. I make sure she has enough time for self-care. She has a night where she goes to an Acro-yoga class, and a dedicated night to go out and have dinner with her best friend.