Have arousal psychological problem

I am 30 years old. I have a good erection, morning wood etc. If my penis erected – nothing bad can happen. But… All my life it’s so difficult for me to get hard. I can’t get hard psychologically or by kissing or by touching. I need just direct contact with my penis to get hard and this contact should not be interrupted till my finish. During sex I also feel just physical pleasure and not mental.

And the problem is that I totally don’t know what to do, because I am completely healthy, eat the right food, physically active and sporty. Have excellent hormone levels with high testosterone.

Viagra and cialis are a little bit helpful but do not make a big difference.

I’ve not fapped during the last 2 years. Have regular sex with hot girls. But I want to get hard naturally without hand or direct oral stimulations. I want to receive more pleasure by having psychological arousal.

The bad thing is that i live with it all my life. It is stable. Even then I completely calm - my arousal level is bad.

Who has such a problem and who has some advice.