Hey everyone,
So look at me here having wet dreams and shit. Feel like a 15 year old again. I havent had a dream like that in a few years now but I will walk you through the dream.
Me and my girlfriend have been having house inspections for the house we’re living in, and in the dream we were going from room to room in the inspection and she was sucking my dick or I was fucking her from behind while making her suck her dildo, and people kept walking in on us and watching then we’d giddly run off to the next room. Then by the end it was all getting too much and I had to rush her off to the park and get it done there.
I like the idea of being caught and I woke up with one of my better boners recently. It has been the first piece of sexual fantasy that was anything ‘new’ for a long, long time. Usually if I fantasize its about getting head or checking out her ass or something but this being sex and being different is a positive sign for me.
My issues for a long time have been being aroused by and/or maintaining an erection during sex, and even connecting the act of sex with arousal as Id been so used to receiving oral and watching porn, but last night it feels like a step was made in making that connection.
As far as my recovery thus far, I’ve been doing a lot of the breathing exercises, and I’ve been reframing thoughts, ive started exploring my anxiety issues and I’ve been seeing a sex therapist for the past couple of months and yet nothing seems to speak for why Id suddenly have this dream, but it makes me want to lean even more into that by listening to the fantasy visualizations in this app
One piece of great advice I got from Stirling Cooper’s Youtube is to just tell the girl what you want. Quite often I (and probably you) are so concerned with doing things right, we lose track of what we want, so then we lose track of how to lead the situation, and then lose our “mojo”. But in the dream I had her bent over the bed and told her to suck off her dildo and pretend it’s a cop. It gives her a way to ‘perform’ for me, so that I dont feel like I am just aimlessly thrusting away, as I often feel like I am. With that visualization I was able to make sex more erotic for me.
I think I’ve found a little loophole for myself, its not all about MY performance, it’s about hers too… she doesnt get to just bend over and do nothing, shes gotta put on a show as well, and that show should help me.