Focusing sex drive in the wrong ways

I’ve been working on some issues with porn use I’ve been facing, but as I’ve been sorting out my relationship with this content, it’s felt like my libido is misdirected. If I am feeling aroused, my immediate reaction to, rather than sit with it, find some outlet online. Whether that’s looking at girls on Instagram, reading smut, masturbating, or watching porn. Does anyone have tips on how to manage this? I’ve realized that quitting it all cold-turkey is not for me, so how can I shift my relationship with arousing material for healthier partnered and solo sex?

I’ve found the mojo solo sensate work helpful along with slower more mindful ie focus on how it feels, masturbation (without porn) helpful. It takes me longer to get hard than whenI use porn - I felt like I had to “sink” into the sensations to allow them to turn me on or even to recognize that some parts of my body other than my dick do turn me on when I touch myself in interesting ways. I take my time and really try to just enjoy the masturbation and i’ve found it great - like I feel porn is now distracting me rather than improving my pleasure. I haven’t even felt like watching it.

I also found mojo recorded therapy sessions interesting - there’s one on balancing porn use that may be helpful.

Also I have mojo wax n wane exercise - get yourself hard, then stop for a while to go soft and repeat this cycle a few times. This means you start to tolerate that being hard feeling with less or at least delayed pressure to cum. You can enjoy that feeling gof just being hard but not doing anything with it- allow it to go and then you can get it back when you want to carry on . That’s been helpful too

May help a bit?


I find that just letting my own arousal mentally consume me helps a ton in putting the porn down. I have been chronically addicted to porn for a long time and I’m just now getting better. Whenever I used to get even a little aroused, I would head straight to pornography. But not I just think and feel these emotions. I find that with a little effort, I can be just as aroused or even more so with my own mind or the thought of being with my partner than mindless porn viewing ever could.