First woman after wife of 25 years - am i doomed?

I can get an erection with my wife, but have started dating (its complicated) and cannot get hard with the date. She is stunning and sweet, so it isn’t about being attracted. Am afraid I can only get hard with my wife, and that isn’t an option. I’m basically terrified. Tried xanax and cialis and that was a disaster. I don’t know what to do. Afraid she may run for the hills soon.

I have had the same issue with the women I have dated since my divorce. Things that worked for me were fantasizing about them and using images for personal pleasure. Trying sex multiple nights in a row, taking your time until you have a solid erection before you try penetration. I have noticed the issue with me at least is an excess of adrenaline. Normalizing your relationship is probably the fix.

One suggestion would be to take the expectation of sex off the table for the night and instead spend some quality intimate time with the woman you’re seeing. I’d things do escalate, great, but you could try making her the focus. This takes the pressure off of you needing to even get an erection. If you do, great! If not, enjoy the time you have and explore all the possibilities of non penetrative pleasure.

Also, I know you mentioned Cialis, but peptides such as Pt-141 are a good alternative with less side effects.