I’m 22 and been dealing with performance anxiety for the past 3 years now. Initially I thought I had a physical problem.
Logically I know that I don’t, I can get erections easily when alone. Even when I’m showering with a Partner or just making out, I have no problem whatsoever.
It’s just that once Im in Bed with my partner I inevitably start to think about whether I’m hard enough or not and I lose my erection.
I know how important mindfulness is and I try my best to be at the present moment, focusing on my breath.
But my subconscious mind is way louder and somehow tells me/gives me the feeling that I just can’t keep it up.
My partner is incredibly understanding and sweet, but the fact that I can’t perform just makes me feel depressed and horrible.
It’s frustrating, depressing and most of all has been consuming me more and more over the past weeks.
Has anyone been through this? Is there any effective exercise/method that can be done to train your subconsciousness?
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I am in the same same situation and I think the only way you can deal with this is looking at it like this.
you KNOW you’re overthinking the situation and the worst outcome is you can’t get hard…which you’ve had happen before numerous times. But , that’s the worst that can happen and she understands you two move on ? What I’m trying to say is the worst outcome you’ve already dealt with so there’s no point overthinking when you know the “worst” scenario isn’t that bad. So just enjoy yourself in the moment for you
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I’m in the exact same situation however my partner is not understanding and becoming extremely frustrated and impatient with it. It feels like it is never going to get better.
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Been having the same problem recently. Me and my wife will be having fore play and I’ll be as hard as a rock, but as soon as we move on to the main event I go soft instantly. And I know it’s my anxiety about if I can keep it up. Something I have tried and had a bit of success with is trying some mindfulness techniques I’ve learned through meditation. One is called noting, and basically when you feel the anxious thought start to rise or the feeling of anxiety coming you say in your head “oh ya, thinking” or “Oh ya, feeling” and try and let the thought or feeling go. It works with my everyday distracting thoughts, so I thought bring it into the bedroom and it has worked from time to time to pull me out of my head and into my body. I
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I’ve been doing meditation everyday, sometimes twice a day. I use an app that even includes walking meditation which is extremely easy to do compared to sitting still and doing meditation. I’m finding minutes quite helpful at helping me become more present and I feel like my inner voice is getting quieter and I’m able to become more focused. But it’s taking months… Don’t lose hope, just keep trying. It’s worth it, especially when you have a very understanding partner.
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I’m there now too, but in mojo I expect to get some techniques allowing to shut this voice up (internal critic who’s questioning your ability to keep the erection). To be honest, I got some success with it already, so just go through mojo program and don’t skeep exercises, I hope it will help!
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