I don’t seem to be able to reach orgasm without focusing on a fantasy in my mind. If I just focus on the sensation, and how good it feels, I seem to be able to go on and on. There is some pressure, to cum, because my girlfriend likes it when I do and it seems to mean “successful” sex. Plus, the longer I keep going, the higher the chances some thought pops into my head that distracts me and I end up going soft.
My girlfriend has been very supportive of ED issues and we’ve talked about it. This is the first time I’ve ever had to deal with impact of ED. I recently went through a nasty divorce and ED was never an issue with my ex.
What has worked, for you, if you’ve found it challenging to reach orgasm?
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You don’t have to cum every time, sometimes my girlfriend and I just play then have sex, there are times when one of us cums and the other doesn’t. It’s no big deal.
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I have the exact situation as OP.
Eventually whatever part of her body she is using to try to make me cum gets too sore/tired to continue, until there’s nothing left to try but jerk off. Even then I won’t cum.
Fantasy focus has helped, especially is she plays along.
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I’ve been actually thinking to be less greedy about necessarily trying more than 2-3 positions, to pick an opportune moment to cum, and for the time being my hand is still the most reliable to get me there or close to that edge, and so I can take myself to that edge and then “hand it off” to my partner to finish me off with little effort and it feels great, or perhaps get myself to the edge and THEN put it back inside her and tune into the intense sensations at that point which is when I’m able to cum while inside her. Maybe in the future I’ll be more attuned to not necessarily need “hard and fast” which us what my hand does best in order to get there, but for now I’m tuning into the pleasure of sex and then using my hand when I want to get myself to the point where I’m ready to cum. But also someone else’s suggestion, not everyone has to cum every time, to certainly focus on her needs giving her oral is always a pleasure for both of us.