So I’ve been with my partner for 9 years since we was 16 we had a break last year for about 1-2 months and everything was getting back to normal after but recently I am having a hard time keeping it up , foreplay everything is fine both enjoying it very much then as soon and it comes to the sex I loose it and this has happened on most occasions and I really don’t know why , has anyone else had the same sort of issues?
A setback is what brings me here! I’ve had this problem whit my new patner for the 2-3 first times we tried. We spent a weekend together and I’ve manage to get it up plenty of time but only a few days later, even before she arrived, I was thinking of not performing in bed… I couldn’t get a single erection even with foreplay. In my head and with my previous relationship, I think that sex is really important and I feel like I am deceiving my partner. I am very happy that my partner still supports me in this situation and even encourage me to take this “course”.
I think the important thing to remember about setbacks is that they’re part of the process of healing. Whenever you reach new milestones, your mind has started re-wiring itself. Even if you falter and find yourself back at square one, you’ve created a mental framework for getting back to your previous milestone with much less effort. That means you have greater capacity to go a little bit further still. Nothing is wasted effort, my dude. Keep at it, and know that setbacks are normal, healthy, and actually part of the process.
Absolutely excellent advice, thanks man!
I have a hard time of starting up foreplay without kissing. I’ve always been used to kissing being apart of the foreplay, without this I feel stupid and lost. Any recommendations?
I feel you there, I was doing great for a streak of 4 months. It almost seemed like my ed problems where behind me but last time I had a setback. The only difference is that I can point to the issue and is that I panicked and began reverting to the same overthinking mental state as before. Fortunately this time around I am more confident that is all in my head and that I am able to pull out of it again.
I have trouble keeping an erection when I put the condom on. It feels like a mental block right when im about to have sex. I can get hard again a few minutes later but it kills the vibe and doesn’t allow me to have sex. Is there a way for me to get over it?
ED meds are a double edged sword for me. Long before coming to Mojo I started taking them to break through my own anxiety that was making it impossible for me to get hard when I needed it most. No problem masturbating, I often wake up hard etc. and am very healthy. But when it’s showtime, the pressure was so great I failed every time. Enter Viagra. It worked. Really well. And restored my confidence. But the doubt remained that I could get it up without it. So, long story short, I’d say I’m addicted to it. Although I’ve cut back my dosage from 100 mg to 20 mg with the help of all the breathing and meditation exercises on Mojo. We’ve managed sex a couple times without it but for the most part I still need (mentally) to pop that tiny little pill to feel 100% confident that it’s going to work. I’m still working on weaning my self off… but the sex is sooo good (3x-4x a week).
Bottom line, it will help, but be very careful of becoming addicted. It’s not the end of the world but I’d much rather be 100% natural. Good luck!
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In response to your comment. Tantra actually sounds interesting so I’ll definitely look into those books you’ve recommended. To reiterate though, the issue I’m having is that I can’t climax or ejaculated with my girlfriend but I can maintain my erections. Would you still recommend the tantra approach?
In exactly the same boat. Been rolling with Viagra for the last 3 years, currently on 100mg for each session, tried a couple of times without them but the doubt and fear overrides me and states ‘it doesn’t work’ without them, trying to find the confidence to drop to 50mg, then 25mg and then little crumbles to eventually coming off.
Day by day effectively - more meditation, more mindfulness and less overthinking/ doubting and trying not to continuously think of this ‘issue.’
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