Crippleing performance anxiety

Been struggling with this one for 3 years now! Since my bloody awful divorce! I have a wonderful new partner who has been great over the last few years- but I sense she just ain’t getting what she needs and this makes me feel awful! I can’t even jerk off without getting out of breath and stuck in my own head! I’m a fit and healthy guy! First thing in the morning- after a good sleep- no problem!!! On an evening- no chance!!! Any tips out there? Sick of this now!!!

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If you get out of breath from jerking off it sounds like there could be a deeper issue