Hey, my partner and I were having a great time when she takes the lead. However when I went to take charge I quickly lost my erection and lose the moment. I want to take the lead more to take the pressure off my partner. Has anyone got any suggestions to help?
Yes! I was struggling with a similar issue. As soon as I took the lead I started getting into Performance Mode, telling myself it’s Now or Never. As soon as I got the feeling that my penis was getting flaccid, guess what happened? It did. I was pressuring myself to perform.
What made a huge difference for me was that I had a really good conversation with my partner, asking her to tell me it’s ok when I lose my erection, rather than getting all quiet and sulky. She responded really positively and that took a lot of pressure off me. No matter what happened after that, it’s either ok or great.
I hope this helps you!
That sounds great! How do you guys relax enough to let her take the lead?
I would love to be able to do this. I tend to need to be in control (presumably, because I know when I am hard or not, or perhaps because I don’t seem to like attention very much).
Thanks I will definitely have the conversation with my partner and hopefully this helps. It’s good to know others are in the same boat.
It’s the only way we have sex at the moment, I think because she’s leading I can switch off a bit and it’s helps me get hard.