Anxiety with new women and condoms

Hello new to this community. Willing to try digging into my own mind at this point because I’ve been ignoring this issue for far too long. Here goes. So many years ago, in my teens mostly, I was confident sexually (for the most part) and never had any issues with sex. But one night I was fumbling with this condom in the dark… and well you know where it goes from there… I had to stop and explain to her what had happened and naturally she was disappointed and I was embarrassed. Ever since then, I’ve had this fear that something similar will happen again. I have no issue faking the confidence, or with foreplay (usually), but as soon as push comes to shove and I know she expects to get laid… then it happens and I lose it. Then there’s always this awkward … cold anxious feeling… conversation and the night almost always ends in disappointment. I do not have this problem when I’m in a relationship… once I’m comfortable with someone, everything is fine. Sex is normal again. But as soon as I’m single and trying to see new women, it’s right back to this situational psychological ED. I avoid even having sex most of the time because I know what’s going to happen. I make up some bullshit that I’m not into sex on the first date or whatever and I always feel weird saying it because who honestly believes that? I just want to get out of my head. Has anyone had any similar issues? And had anyone had any success with this Mojo thing?

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Hello I have the same thing. Mainly my ED is from condom issues, since putting it stops the whole sexy procedure and put all pressure on these seconds. I also found myself avoiding moving things to sex for that reason. For sure mojo can help with that as long as we work on ourselves (mainly on our brains).

I would recommend to talk about this with the girl even if you just met her the same night. It’s better to have informed her so that a big amount of pressure will be away. Something like "just for you to know sometimes when it’s time to put condom it may fall, but it has nothing to do with you. It’s because my mind focus on condom instead of the ". And if it happens she will be prepared for that and not disappointed. So you can continue with foreplay or whatever and then you can try again.

Something else could be, the moment before you try to put condom when you are still hard, to visualise you being inside her or whatever thought can keep you really hard, so by doing this your mind will not have time to think negative thoughts


Yeah mate. When i tried losing my virginity i got major performance ED. I could be well hard for 4play and hand jobs but as soon as put on a condom i lost it instantly.
I spoke to my doctor about it and he diagnosed me with performance anxiety.
He gave me some viagra to get things going properly. It worked well and boosted my confidence to carry on without it.
Good luck i hope this helps.


@ anon26025653, your story really resonates with me. I haven’t heard many people talk (yet) about how once in a relationship they seem to do much better. That is totally my story. Reading your comment I felt like I was the one typing it. VERY similar. My initial ED never came from condoms… just the pressure of sex. Then after a while I’d be fine, but once I broke up with a girlfriend I’d be right back where I started. I completely understand. Now after 10 years of marriage I’m divorced and the whole cycle is back. I can say that mojo has helped… some. It FEELS more confident. I’m sure my issues will still exist but I do like discussing these things and honestly the meditations and listening to psych sessions makes me feel much more calm about the situation. Best of luck. I’m with ya.

Hey what’s up so I actually made that original post. But I cancelled my membership because I thought I was gonna get hit with the premium price after the trial was up. That was my mistake… I didn’t realize it would just default me into the free version. But my account was gone so I made a new one (this one) either way. I felt inclined to respond to you seeing how much that resonated with you. I wonder, is there any way to have like direct messaging on here? Or do we have to communicate in this community??

What dosage were you prescribed? And was it viagara that worked for you only? Have you tried Cialis or anything else?

I’ve had the same problem since I was 16, I’m 30 now. I’ve just accepted my anxious mind enters a panic mode with someone new. Just from the anxiety of giving them a good time and not being a disappointment.

I’ve never had a one night stand that led to even somewhat decent sex. I’ve always had to warm up to new women and take things slow.
I try not to beat myself up because everyone’s built different. But it’s hard because I know I’ve missed out on sex with so many women just because of my own insecurities.

Women that I’ve really connected with have always been patient when I told them that it takes me time to lose that stress. I’ve also had some mental trauma from many other women who have lashed out , out of disappointment and feeling like they weren’t attracting enough to get me hard.

Best of luck man, just know you’re not the only one. :slight_smile:


It is the absolute worst when the female gets upset. That makes me totally go inside my head and get lost. I have almost no good reply when that happens. I too have never had a one night stand that led to good sex… ever. I’m 41. Great to see other similar stories.