43, low penis sensitivity and losing my erection mid intercourse, taking 5mg Cialis

🍆 Erection issues
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Many of my problems are common but some possibly unique to my situation. It would be nice to hear from people with a story like mine that have recovered.

So I lost my virginity at 41 and lost my erection in my first sexual encounter, I think nerves/anxiety definitely played a role here too. I had phimosis (tight foreskin) and wasn’t able retract my foreskin at this time. I performed oral sex and then went to get a condom and lost it as I was putting it on and couldn’t get it back. That affected me quite a bit and I failed a few more times till I got some Cialis (Apcalis SX-20). They were 20mg tablets that I split into 4 pieces so my dosage was roughly 5mg every 2-3 days. Sex was fine after I started taking the Cialis. I do remember one of the final times we had sex and I never took any Cialis and was able to stay hard the whole time.

I’ve recently started a new relationship. Now my foreskin retracts like it’s supposed and any sex I have these days are with my foreskin retracted. The first time we had sex I lost my erection again, I don’t think she realised and I just performed oral sex on her for about 30 minutes. For the next 2 to 3 days we’ve been having normal sex because I’ve resorted to taking the 5 mg of Cialis again. I got a bit overconfident and tried to have sex last night without taking the Cialis and although I got my erection, I lost it midway through the session. I’ve told her what I think the problem is and sent her an article to read and she seems sympathetic. But when I did lose my erection, I had the same sense of dread as I did before and felt like a little boy apologising for doing something wrong. I know this is gonna make me get in my head again, and I’m not sure how to gain some confidence other than fixing it properly. I guess I’m gonna have to take this 5 mg of Cialis for the foreseeable future.

I know it’s not possible to 100% know what’s causing this but there are a few things that are probably contributing to it.

  1. Low sensitivity in my glans - When I do have sex or receive a blowjob it feels nice but nothing major. I think it’s the primary reason I’ve never cum from sex.
  2. Too much masturbation - I’ve basically masturbated nearly everyday since my teens. Although the feeling is much better than the sex I feel like the visuals of the stuff I like (which isn’t very vanilla) contributes to being able to get over the line on my own.
  3. General hip problems - I have an anterior pelvic tilt and also had a sciatic problem in the past which is now gone. I notice when I do something like yoga my hips are always the most achey the next day. So I believe I have a muscle imbalance or something like that.
  4. Anxiety - My natural disposition is that of a worrier so when I’ve had the performance problems, it definitely messes with my head.

I really hope I can overcome this and although losing my erection is the major problem here, I’d really like to feel more pleasure and cum from sex one day.

tldr: I lost my virginity at 41 and experienced erectile dysfunction which I think was due to a number of things I’ll detail below. I managed the condition with Cialis, allowing me to have successful sex without losing my erections. I’m currently in a new relationship and I’m facing similar challenges and still need to use Cialis. It’s hard to know exactly but I think my problem is from one or a combination of low sensitivity, frequent masturbation, troublesome hip/pelvic area and anxiety. Any idea’s, advice or insights to help me overcome these problems would be amazing.

Has anybody gone through something similar and come out the other side fixed?

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I hope you stop using Cialis eventually. No drug is good for us. I’m new to this app. I hope we all
find our mojo back. Don’t give up!

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I haven’t taken it for a few days so it’s definitely out of my system and I had sex yesterday and lasted around five5minutes before I lost my erection so maybe this is a little bit of success. I used my Fleshlight this morning and lasted around 10 minutes before losing my erection again. I’m 90% sure my problem is lack of sensitivity because I’m not really feeling much tbh.

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@famous-aqua-tuna It sounds like you might have some pelvic floor weakness. I am a physical therapist and I searched out a pelvic specialist becuase I had some hip pain and tip of my penis sensations when sitting too long. She found I had a weakness of my pelvic floor and some tight muscles that could affect my erection. I can’t explain it well but when she explained it to me it made all the sense in the world.

I know that after I started the exercises I started having stronger erections and noticed erectiosn in the morning more frequently. I am still working on some strength goals. I note that I can easily get an erection but find it hard to maintain an erection in standing.

Might be worth a look. Also, I appreciate the comment about not using medications but Cialis and Viagra are non-habit forming and if they give you confidence while you work out the other stuff, they might be helpful. I haven’t used them much but I have for confidence once and appreciated the help.

Good luck!

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Oh, that’s good to know that they are not habit forming. I was kind of worried about that. And you’re right, when you take them it takes the edge and you don’t have the worry of losing your erection. I’m taking 5mg every few days, hopefully I don’t build up a tolerance for them.

I know this is a big ask, but would you be willing to share which exercises you did for your pelvic floor?

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I am doing exercises similar to what was prescribed in the Mojo app. I am doing pelvic floor squeezes starting with 5 sets of 30 second holds and then doing 10-20 quick maximum effort squeezes. I do this 2-3 times per day. It doesn’t take long.

The main things I learned by going to a specialist is to start laying down and work into seated then standing. Standing was just too hard and I wasn’t getting a good contraction. Also, when I squeeze I need both my testicles to retract upward. I would squeeze initially and only one ball would move up. I had to give it some cueing laying down on my back for a while to wake it up.

Finally, I sit for work so I am doing a better job of standing throughout the day to take pressure off my pelvice floor.

I hope that helps! It did for me!

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Whoops, I meant to reply/quote you.

Interesting, how have these pelvic floor exercises helped you?