What's one thought you can reprogram today? (early climax-dedicated thread)

Negative Experience

Foreplay was going great and as soon as we switched positions I went soft.

Negative Thought

1.) oh god here it goes again, another ruined night of sex
2.) I bet my partner is sick of this happening and is getting sexually frustrated

Categories

Fortune telling and mind reading

Fact checking

1.) Just because I’ve gone soft once doesn’t mean the entire night of sex is ruined. We’ve gotten back to it in the past.
2.) she has told me multiple times that she understand the struggle and still enjoys sexual time together

Alternative Thought

1.) my body could be on autopilot and I just have to take more control and relax and fight the inner critique
2.) she could be sexually frustrated and that makes sense because she wants to have sex but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t love me or is going to leave me.

2 Likes

I need to focus on how I feel, not on how I perceive others to feel. I spend so much time worried about pleasing my partner that I can’t allow my body to respond naturally

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I was blaming myself for not performing as well as I imagined I could have, but the reasons I’m not currently seeing her are multifaceted and not as simple as “you weren’t hard for long enough.”
I need to focus on myself. And think less about others.

“I can’t offer anything to a partner, and there’s no reason anyone would want to be with someone like me.”
I’m proud I was able to reframe this thought, it’s not about a sexual experience but it’s something I struggle with. I broke it down and reframed it towards
“I bring a uniqueness to a relationship, including my sexuality. Anyone who can’t see these qualities in me probably isn’t someone I want to be intimate with.” I am proud to have even looked at this thought that plagues me regularly, and I am excited to keep working towards reprogramming it

It is ok to go soft at some point during sex because I can still satisfy my partner in other ways. Also my partner seems quite content even if we don’t go all the way till the end with sex. We still enjoy ourselves for as long as we can

I’ve had a bad few sexual sessions. This is a pattern that will keep getting worse.

can get hard no problem but when i think it going well and sex it’s self it’s gos soft plus i can not cum in fount of another guy !

It’s okay to be soft in bed, we are not machines that have a hard on 100% of the time

2 Likes

That they’re judging me and disappointed in the sex when I go soft and can’t finish through penetration.

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I can’t stay hard during sex. I think she thinks her experiences with other men are better than her experiences with me

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I will feel deep embarrassment and shame if I fail. I must avoid that.

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one been kinda leaning on weed for a while and it’s gotten into my sex like a bit so i’m gonna quit cause ive been getting the feeling that i’ve been using it too get hard but im sober as a priest rn and im bricked up. so i just gotta keep reminding myself that i don’t need it. def gonna quit tho

The idea that I have to finish for sex to be done

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I can assume that my partner will be satisfied even without me having a boner

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I won’t last long enough to satisfy my partner.

I won’t get hard when I want to and I’ll cum too quickly

I won’t get hard when me and my partner want to get down to it

I’ll lose my erection once I gain it and get ready for sex

I won’t be able to get it up next time we have sex

I’m gonna get nervous and tense up and overthink… this may be your current situation but you know it never used to be like this