The belief that I can’t relax enough to have good sex, even though I’ve done it before.
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The fear I won’t be able to create relationships due to my erections
I’m going to get over this while continuing to satisfy my partner.
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I rarely have issues getting hard and I last long enough to satisfy my wife about half the time we have sex. We’ve been talking recently about her experiences before we met 15 years ago. That got me thinking about how different our sex is now compared to our early days and how it’d be great to recapture some of that feeling.
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I recently briefly lost my erection in the middle of sex despite several great sessions previously. It became a fortune teller situation and my mind jumped to it being over. I was able to recover with some of the techniques I’ve learned. I hope to work to be able to avoid the lulls entirely and just be confident start to finish.
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When I get in that pussy go crazy!
You had a raging hard on this morning
One thought I’m reprogramming today is I’m not capable when compared to someone else. That falls in the “not good enough “category of negative self talk, and it’s OK to not know something. Worrying about knowing everything keeps me from being in the moment and learning step-by-step. Today it’s just about presence. Where am I? What is my concern? And asking questions rather than making statements
My biggest negative thought is mind reading, specifically that my partner isn’t enjoying the experience or that I am taking too long or they are disgusted by me when we have sex. I know my last partner enjoyed having sex with me, and I need to remember that.
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The thought in reprogramming is the oanick failure thought when I can’t maintain during. I am rltellijg myself that sometimes it happens, and it happens to everyone. But it’s not the end of the world, I’ll get it back up and go again
My biggest fear is not getting hard enough, not staying hard long enough and cumming too quickly…I want my partner to get her nut before me and I am to please anyway. Just fear of not performing well overtakes me. I know it’s not supposed to be judged that way but unfortunately it is. I’m reprogramming myself to ensure that she is completely pleased first and then I get all the pleasure I want from her.
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My wife and I can’t have spontaneous sex anymore because we’ve failed so many times. I want to believe I can get hard and stay hard at will (without pills) so we can do that again.
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When i am relaxed we have long hard sex. It is difficult to get to a point of relaxation because sometimes my mind sabotages me
At some point in the foreplay I sometimes lose my erection because I start overthinking the fact that it has to stay and that it might not and in that way I put more pressure on myself. I recently had a sexual experience where that happened again and I was able to get my erection back by fingering her and I even was able to have sex with her till I climaxed which hadn’t happened in a while. So I’m reprogramming my thoughts by not panicking if I lose my erection and be confident in what I can do to get back into the game!
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Too much stress lately, there are days I have full erection, and sone days I can’t get an erection
After this exercise, the facts stand out that this is completely my issue of handling fear from nerves and risk. Nerves of the future (“will it work? Will it not?”) and risk of hurting my partner if things don’t work out. This all stems from not being relaxed and confident that it’ll be alright.
Last night I was hard and horny, wanting to have sex with my girlfriend of many years who was lying next to me. My inner critic won where I didn’t make a move due to the fear of trying to prevent myself from going soft to the point of sealing my own fate and ultimately going soft. Where I would then tell myself this will happen every time we try to have sex from now on. Definitely can see that this is fortune telling among other negative thought styles.I just want to be able to enjoy those moments with her again.
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Last time she wanted a quickie, I had in mind this is not enough, because of the many times we unintentionally had it quicker. So part of me was fighting to keep it going, even if she was ok and wanted to be fast this time. The convulsion is that I don’t need to always take long, and that not necessarily she does not enjoy when I get there fast
My first thought was omg I can’t believe it’s happening again. But I realized that I’m not broken, I get good erections when I’m alone, I thought that this is it, my penis doesn’t work, but in fact it does, and I’m well aware of that. But because of over generalization I made myself believe that I am the issue and can’t get fixed