Im always thinking it matters and that she will care like it reflects how im secretly feeling about her. But when i think about it in reverse if she was having trouble getting wet, i would understand and want to help and also not add to any stress that might cause. It helps to put my issue into perspective
It’s definitely easier with my current partner than with anybody new.
I’ve been married for 15 years and it’s still really really difficult to bring it up.
I feel it’s very important, bc it helps me and them have reasonable expectations. We can still have a fun time. It’s just some things Might not happen like they might in other scenarios
It doesn’t feel very natural to me to discuss it, but every time I’ve brought it up or every time I’ve run into an issue the guy has been understanding. It’s much bigger of a deal in my head than it actually is in reality.
It can feel embarrassing and that you’re letting your partner down. My girlfriend insists that the sex is still great but I am convinced that I’m not as good as I used to be and that she’s just saying that to make me feel better rather than addressing it. I feel it’s putting us in an awkward spot
I feel comfortable, I think what I need to be more communicative about is not forcing it when I’m not really on the mood for sex.
It’s not easy based on this not being the norm and also the potential for this to lose out on a relationship
I refocus on intimacy rather than sex. My partner feels good when I make her feel appreciated and loved and communicate well with her. Sex is just one part of intimacy and we define sex in the broadest possible terms. Sometimes I can’t get hard or stay hard, and it doesn’t really matter so long as we find other ways to express our intimacy.
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Easy. Im having a difficult time in trusting. I faced and beat false SA accusations and jail time (a friend of hers turned her in and proved she lied). And that totally destroyed my trust. I resorted to porn and excessive masturbation to the point it harmed my libido. I don’t mind being very clear in my past and if a woman can’t understand, well then she can’t. That’s on her. Not me. And I can’t let that affect me like it would before.
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I just had to do this for the first time with a new partner and whilst very uncomfortable it wasn’t hell. I think the mistake I made though is bringing it up just before we were getting into bed with each other for the first time and then pushing myself to go further than I knew I was comfortable with in that moment. Lesson learnt for next time.
Yeah that is a big one. Recently sex has become a burden, since we are trying fit kids, rather than fun and the approach of communicating better could turn the table
I’m fine talking to her about it, it’s just so annoying!
I feel pretty embarrassed but in have raised it before with someone and it wasn’t a disaster
When the rest of our relationship is going well and we are in a good mood it feels ok. When other things are hard they muddy the waters and the conversation gets harder. One solution is to work on the other problems first, but lacking intimacy makes those feel harder too. So it can be a vicious cycle at times.
In my last relationship, we often used to sex to initiate intimacy which led to addressing tough conversations about other parts of the relationship. If the sex itself was ever bad, that often exacerbated the other issues. That made it tough to talk about.
My problem is more the lack of climax
We’ve talked about it, but she doesn’t seem to think its a problem, which makes me feel very alone in my problem
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It’s impressive how accepting the other person is. That provides for a safe place where one can play.
Sometimes she’s comforting and other times she can be cold with my ED which can make things awkward cause I never know how to judge her reaction.