It is definitely not something I’m good at yet. I avoid these conversations. But we have started the dialogue.
2 Likes
I don’t know how to have that conversation early in the relationship, when we just met. But I could learn, if it will help make for better sex.
My wife has been very nice and understanding. It was inportant to have a strong relationship not built on sex alone prior to the sex issues in my experience
It’s hard, but my fiancée has been very supportive and understanding about any kind of erection issues.
At this point in my life, I’m ok with it. I learned that it’s better as a result of having bad situations in the past.
Getting easier
It’s difficult but necessary in the relationship. Particularly when it affects both partners.
I’m currently single, so these types of conversations have primarily been present in hookup situations. I’ve been working on becoming more confident having these. So far, no one has been offended or let down.
I have opened up to my partner about this however I am guilty of being in my head and using “ you” statements instead of taking the blame with I statements
I feel ashamed and like I am not a man because I can’t get it up. But also, I wouldn’t know even how to approach that sort of conversation as due to my ED issue, it has been a very long time since I last had sex with my wife. I take ownership for this as I have let me fear of failing yet again override my need to connect with my wife in a sexually way.
That’s a tough situation.
It’s tough to bring up, especially early on, it could be a dealbreaker for some people, or in my own past, used against me
I am feeling just a little bit more optimistic about having conversations about my ED issues. My wife can see the work I am putting in the effort to overcome my fears and to address my mental demons that are holding me back. It is very early days, but there has been a shift in the last 4 days that makes me believe that we can have these conversations more openly without being blamed or shamed.
I don’t have problems talking about this with my fixed partner. With others, it depends on how they show themselves, but I prefer to chill and be transparent if any issue comes up.
It would probably go a long way to relieving some of the tension and anxiety.
It feels like taboo … But I’m willing to give it a go
With my new girlfriend Amy, I shared with her from the start about my issues and she was very happy that I did.
I have been with my wife for 23 years, and for a period of time I kept what I was going through to myself as our sex life was non existent. (Both had surgeries, teenager at home the whole thing) Fast forward through discovering this app, and quite literally this session and I had the nerve one morning to sit her down and tell her how I felt - about a few things but specifically our sex life and what I perceived to he her controlling the frequency. As it turns our, It was all in my own head - and not the case at all. Quite literally all I had to do was grab her hand and bring her upstairs. But without this communication it would have stayed the same. We now have perhaps the most open discussions we’ve ever had in our entire relationship, and I can’t tell you what a game changer it’s been. Not perfect - but wow its changed the way I behave.
1 Like
Going to try once we are done with this in house separation. If she decides to stay then I think I am in a better place to discuss these issues and since everything is up for discussion it will make this easier
1 Like
I remember when I was still a virgin, I had this great chance with an older woman, everything was going great, but I couldn’t get it up. She asked if I wasn’t aroused and I felt so ashamed I just awkwardly told her I was just very nervous.
Thankfully now, with my girlfriend, it’s been very different. I’ve let her know since early on and she’s been super understanding and patient (in part because she was in no rush to have sex at the time). She knows it can happen to me and she’s dealt with her own problems too: being anxious, being too tight, not being lubricated enough, etc. Now that we’ve had sex a few times it’s become a bit hard to let her know I can still have problems getting it up, but whenever I do, she tells me it’s all ok and to not worry about it.