When my partner and I tried previously, I couldn’t get it in and felt very vulnerable. She told me its okay and these things happen but I really took a confidence blow and am kind of scared of being intimate over the fear that I’ll disappoint her again and again.
I would feel alright telling them, then she would be aware, and help me not ejaculate too soon.
I feel as comfortable as these discussion can be, but putting too much weight on them can be an issue. It’s not that massive of a deal so putting a lot of heaviness on something is not always the best.
It’s scary. I’ve been with her for over 20 years. Having ED makes her feel like I don’t find her attractive anymore and the harder I try to prove that’s not the case, the more anxiety around sex, the stronger the issue.
I’m fine with it. If they don’t like it they can leave.
Thanks for sharing. I don’t know You guys and your relationship, but if it’s your wife, You guys must be close - and I’m sure she will appreciate You explaining to her and opening up so that she can understand how You feel and You both can find ways of working through it. It might seem scary, but it’s easier together good luck
I am not in a relationship and approaching it casually feels complicated - but I think this section raised a good point around it - perhaps it is because I attach too much importance and weight to sex and penetration - and envision that I need to be and stay hard all the time. I should detach myself from it a little bit - and appreciate everything else more, not just look at dating as an opportunity for sex. I should make myself more comfortable with my problems, so that in my eyes they don’t appear as this important, which goes back to this critic judgment. Sharing it with others can definitely help me feel better and more easy with it
I liked the you to I statement. Taking ownership and building confidence.
The idea of discussing performance issues with a partner is very scary to me
I found that at first I felt very uncomfortable and vulnerable. But once I spoke with my partner I realised that she was very understanding, which made talking about it easier
It’s scary opening up, but my partner has been very understanding. It helps that she’s experienced it before and has done some of her own reading on the subject. But I still needed to reassure her it wasn’t about her.
While inside I feel shame and embarrassment, my partner is really supportive regardless. I’m quite lucky in that regard. I’m building up my confidence and I feel it
My partner is very supportive but I can’t help but feel like I’m not fully satisfying her with the whole not getting hard enough for sex situation
I explain my problem and she understands. We live in different countries. I would be happier with my girlfriend if she was always with me.
I’m feeling much more comfortable after having shared it with 3 partners recently.
I have always been comfortable discussing this with my partner but that took time to do
Need to frame it right so I’m not making my problem her problem
My wife doesn’t like talking about sex
I bring it up before anything takes place so the other person or my partner knows that they are doing everything right, my body just doesn’t always want to cooperate. I do express during intimacy that I am having an amazing time no matter the state of my dick.
This brings back a flood of awkward memories where I could have used this. One springs to mind where I had been flirting with someone for years, we finally got the opportunity for sex and I couldn’t get it up. With hindsight I could have used a technique to diffuse the situation like, hey I’m struggling a bit at the moment, let me sort you out. But I just kept trying harder and harder and eventually gave up. We hardly spoke after that and now I’m jealous when I see her on IG with her partner, kids.
I doubt I’ll ever just open up directly but I’m definitely keen to acknowledge the situation to make it less awkward.